haracteristic in myself. No trial
that came was unnecessary. When its work was accomplished, the
trial disappeared.

* * *

Can it be said that Union with God in this world entails upon us
increased sufferings here? Yes. But these sufferings are not owing to
abnormal occurrences: nothing will happen which is not the
common lot of humanity; merely we are caused to feel that which
we do experience, very acutely; and after Union with God all earthly
consolations must be abandoned: until we abandon these we do not
know how we have depended on them, how they have protected us
from depression, loneliness, boredom, and discontent. Abandon all
these earthly consolations and interests, and at the same time _be
abandoned by God_ (sensible Grace is withdrawn), and immediately
our sufferings become very severe, though our outward circumstances
may appear, and may actually remain, of the very best. If
our house is a fine one, we must live in it completely detached
from its attractions: the same with regard to our friends, our
amusements, our wealth, and all our possessions. It is obvious that
in learning to do this we shall often suffer. The soul has painfully to
learn that without God's Grace there is no virtue, no righteousness,
and no sanctity: she learns by going forward upon Grace--perhaps to
some great height: then Grace is withdrawn, the soul falls back, and
feels to fall lower than she ever was before, and usually she falls
over a trifle. Amazed, unspeakably surprised and humiliated, and
ashamed, the soul learns to know herself--to know herself with God,
to know herself without God. When she is with God, there seems no
height to which she cannot rise: this gives great courage: more and
more she abandons everything distasteful to God in order to unite
herself more securely to Him.

We have no sufferings that are not useful to us. Looking back on my
life, I see how many troubles I suffered: how often my health
suffered (malaria and sun fevers, and lightning and its
consequences): how I was and still am kept in a somewhat fragile
state of health, though quite free of all actual disease. I see in this
frailness, especially during the earlier years of my life, an immense
protection: given full and vigorous health, combined with my selfish
and passionate temperament, and I know very well I should have
fallen in any and all kinds of dangers at all times. I was not to be
trusted with robust health, and even after all the mercie