WON'T TAKE THE GUN FROM THE HANDS OF
THE LOADER.

As long as this unnatural and monstrous etiquette continues, Snobs there
must be. The three persons engaged in this transaction are, for the time
being, Snobs.

1. The keeper--the least Snob of all, because he is discharging his
daily duty; but he appears here as a Snob, that is to say, in a position
of debasement before another human being (the Prince), with whom he
is allowed to communicate through another party. A free Portuguese
gamekeeper, who professes himself to be unworthy to communicate directly
with any person, confesses himself to be a Snob.

2. The nobleman in waiting is a Snob. If it degrades the Prince to
receive the gun from the gamekeeper, it is degrading to the nobleman in
waiting to execute that service. He acts as a Snob towards the keeper,
whom he keeps from communication with the Prince--a Snob to the Prince,
to whom he pays a degrading homage.

3. The King-Consort of Portugal is a Snob for insulting fellow-men in
this way. There's no harm in his accepting the services of the keeper
directly; but indirectly he insults the service performed, and the
servants who perform it; and therefore, I say, respectfully, is a most
undoubted, though royal Snob.

And then you read in the DIARIO DO GOBERNO--'Yesterday his Majesty the
King took the diversion of shooting the woods off Cintra, attended by
Colonel the honourable Whiskerando Sombrero. His Majesty returned to the
Necessidades to lunch, at,' &c. &c..

Oh! that COURT CIRCULAR! once more, I exclaim.

Down with the COURT CIRCULAR--that engine and propagator of
Snobbishness! I promise to subscribe for a year to any daily paper that
shall come out without a COURT CIRCULAR--were it the MORNING HERALD
itself. When I read that trash, I rise in my wrath; I feel myself
disloyal, a regicide, a member of the Calf's Head Club. The only COURT
CIRCULAR story which ever pleased me, was that of the King of Spain,
who in great part was roasted, because there was not time for the Prime
Minister to command the Lord Chamberlain to desire the Grand Gold Stick
to order the first page in waiting to bid the chief of the flunkeys to
request the House-maid of Honour to bring up a pail of water to put his
Majesty out.

I am like the Pasha of three tails, to whom the Sultan sends HIS COURT
CIRCULAR, the bowstring.

It CHOKES me. May its usage be abolished for ever.

CHAPTER V--WHAT SNOBS ADMIRE

Now let us consider