profound
a flunkey by nature ever for one minute to think that a child of his
could marry a nobleman. He therefore hastened on his daughter's union
with Professor Crab.

When Lord Buckram, after taking his honorary degree, (for Alma Mater is
a Snob, too, and truckles to a Lord like the rest,)--when Lord Buckram
went abroad to finish his education, you all know what dangers he ran,
and what numbers of caps were set at him. Lady Leach and her daughters
followed him from Paris to Rome, and from Rome to Baden-Baden;
Miss Leggitt burst into tears before his face when he announced his
determination to quit Naples, and fainted on the neck of her mamma:
Captain Macdragon, of Macdragonstown, County Tipperary, called upon
him to 'explene his intintions with respect to his sisther, Miss Amalia
Macdragon, of Macdragonstown,' and proposed to shoot him unless he
married that spotless and beautiful young creature, who was afterwards
led to the altar by Mr. Muff, at Cheltenham. If perseverance and forty
thousand pounds down could have tempted him, Miss Lydia Croesus would
certainly have been Lady Buckram. Count Towrowski was glad to take her
with half the meney, as all the genteel world knows.

And now, perhaps, the reader is anxious to know what sort of a man
this is who wounded so many ladies' hearts, and who has been such a
prodigious favourite with men. If we were to describe him it would be
personal. Besides, it really does not matter in the least what sort of a
man he is, or what his personal qualities are.

Suppose he is a young nobleman of a literary turn, and that he published
poems ever so foolish and feeble, the Snobs would purchase thousands
of his volumes: the publishers (who refused my Passion-Flowers, and
my grand Epic at any price) would give him his own. Suppose he is a
nobleman of a jovial turn, and has a fancy for wrenching off knockers,
frequenting ginshops, and half murdering policemen: the public will
sympathize good-naturedly with his amusements, and say he is a hearty,
honest fellow. Suppose he is fond of play and the turf; and has a fancy
to be a blackleg, and occasionally condescends to pluck a pigeon at
cards; the public will pardon him, and many honest people will court
him, as they would court a housebreaker if he happened to be a Lord.
Suppose he is an idiot; yet, by the glorious constitution, he is good
enough to govern US. Suppose he is an honest, highminded gentleman; so
much the better for himself.