y all her charities. There is no respectable
lady in all London who gets her name more often printed for such a sum
of money.

Those three mutton-chops which you see entering at the kitchen-door will
be served on the family-plate at seven o'clock this evening, the huge
footman being present, and the butler in black, and the crest and
coat-of-arms of the Scrapers blazing everywhere. I pity Miss Emily
Scraper--she is still young--young and hungry. Is it a fact that she
spends her pocket-money in buns? Malicious tongues say so; but she has
very little to spare for buns, the poor little hungry soul! For the
fact is, that when the footmen, and the ladies' maids, and the fat
coach-horses, which are jobbed, and the six dinner-parties in the
season, and the two great solemn evening-parties, and the rent of the
big house, and the journey to an English or foreign watering-place for
the autumn, are paid, my lady's income has dwindled away to a very small
sum, and she is as poor as you or I.

You would not think it when you saw her big carriage rattling up to the
drawing-room, and caught a glimpse of her plumes, lappets, and diamonds,
waving over her ladyship's sandy hair and majestical hooked nose;--you
would not think it when you hear 'Lady Susan Scraper's carriage' bawled
out at midnight so as to disturb all Belgravia:--you would not think it
when she comes rustling into church, the obsequious John behind with the
bag of Prayer-books. Is it possible, you would say, that so grand and
awful a personage as that can be hard-up for money? Alas! So it is.

She never heard such a word as Snob, I will engage, in this wicked and
vulgar world. And, O stars and garters! how she would start if she heard
that she--she, as solemn as Minerva--she, as chaste as Diana (without
that heathen goddess's unladylike propensity for field-sports)--that she
too was a Snob!

A Snob she is, as long as she sets that prodigious value upon herself,
upon her name, upon her outward appearance, and indulges in that
intolerable pomposity; as long as she goes parading abroad, like
Solomon in all his glory; as long as she goes to bed--as I believe she
does--with a turban and a bird of paradise in it, and a court train
to her night-gown; as long as she is so insufferably virtuous and
condescending; as long as she does not cut at least one of those footmen
down into mutton-chops for the benefit of the young ladies.

I had my notions of her from my old schoolfell