has been told always to salute his superior officers of both
services--meeting some "temporary" subalterns who disregard his
salute_). "Really, mother, if these temporary subs of the junior service
cannot behave as gentlemen and return my salute, I shall certainly give
up taking any notice of them." ]

* * * * *

GOOD OPENINGS FOR M.P.'s.

_The Manchester Guardian_ complains that there is a remarkable monotony
about the opening of speeches in the House of Commons.

"On Wednesday forty-five speeches (not counting brief efforts in the way
of interjections) were delivered, and in thirty cases the speeches began
with the first person singular. Only fifteen members could think of
anything more original." It appears that four speeches began with "I
beg," four with "I should like," three with "I wish," and three with "I
am sure."

It may be a little daring, perhaps, to suggest that some originality
should be introduced into the methods of Parliamentary orators (writes a
correspondent); but as one whose courage has never failed him in telling
other people how to go about their business I venture to suggest a few
openings which possibly have never yet been utilised.

As it is half the battle, to the speaker, to grip interest at the very
outset, the following might be tried: "Drip, drip, drip--the blood fell
from the ceiling." This would cause departing Members to drop sharply
back into their seats. Only a little ingenuity would be required to make
these words the opening of a speech on any timely topic. Our
aristocratic legislators could make certain of arresting attention by
beginning, "In the words of a friend of mine, a well-known Peckham
butcher"--another gambit that could be made to suit any subject, from
the shipping problem to the Zeppelin nuisance.

Or again, "The missis woke me up in the middle of last Tuesday night,
and said"--This is the kind of homely touch that would ensure a
sympathetic hearing.

Members might also make a good start with "'Twas" and "Methinks," even
at the risk of being accused of the use of unparliamentary expressions.

If they would only study the poets I they would find plenty of bright
and original openings. What better could be desired than BROWNING'S

"So, at home, the sick tall yellow Duchess
Was left with the infant in her clutches,"

if occasion should arise in the House for criticism of the heartless
action of a Local Tribunal in disallowing