ute
(Not, I may say, the regulation speed),
For me far more it harboured my Penates;
I missed my animals; I missed my gay teas
With Alf, the centipede.

And I am shocked to think that that same ceiling
Shields now some Mussulman of lowly strain;
Yet, though he knows me not, I can't help feeling
That something of my spirit must remain,
And if, in that rich air the man should mellow
In mind, in soul, and be a better fellow,
I have not lived in vain.

And it may be, when worlds have ceased to wrestle,
I shall go back across the Midland foam
At special rates in some large tourist vessel
To my late hollow in the Sultan's loam,
And there clasp hands with that uplifted warrior,
Compare brief notes and wonder which was sorrier
To have to call it home.

* * * * *

How to treat a Wife.

Extract from lecture by N.C.O.:--

"Your rifle is your best friend, take every care of it; treat it
as you would your wife, rub it all over with an oily rag every
day."

* * * * *

"The court was crowded by Gaelic Leaguers and the proceedings
were marked by some disorderly scenes, until the magistrates
ordered their continuance."--_Dublin Evening Mail._

Then, of course, being in Ireland, they ceased.

* * * * *

A Provincial Paper, reporting a speech upon heroes of the present War,
represents the speaker as referring to "Bill Adams in Leigh Hunt's
poem." This is the first time within our knowledge that our old friend
_Abou Ben Adhem_ has been confounded with that other popular figure, the
fictitious hero of Waterloo!

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW FRIGHTFULNESS.

_Admiral von Tirpitz_. "PIRACY IS DEAD. STILL, I LIKE TO THINK THAT,
UNDER ANOTHER NAME, THE GOOD WORK GOES ON."

[Berlin contends that, piracy being extinct, the arming of liners and
merchant vessels is no longer legitimate, and that German submarines are
therefore entitled to sink them at sight. The New Frightfulness is due
to begin to-day.]]

* * * * *

A STRONG SOUTH-EASTER.

I have been having further trouble with my neighbour, Petherton, whose
place adjoins mine, being divided from it by a hedge. Beyond the hedge
lies Petherton's small paddock, where his poultry amuse themselves, and,
beyond that, Petherton's