, as
dessert, after junks of Rubrics, and indigestible slabs of controverted
hermeneutics, come the light truffles and _pate de foie gras_ of
Crolly's 'Contracts.' Begor, the next thing will be they'll want us to
preach our sermons before them; and then this Master of
Conferences,--he's a good fellow and an old classmate of my own; but of
course he must exhibit his learning, and bring in all his Christy
minstrel conundrums, as if any fool couldn't ask questions that twenty
wise men couldn't answer;--and then he'll cock his head, like a duck
under a shower, and look out of the window, and leave me stuck dead--"

There was a quiet smile around Father Letheby's mouth during this
philippic. Then he said, smoothing out the paper:--

"There is a little clause here at the end, which I think, Father Dan,
just affects you."

"Affects me? If there is, it didn't catch my eye. Show it to me."

I took the paper, and there, sure enough, was a little paragraph:--

"6 deg. The privilege, in virtue of which parish priests of a certain
standing on the mission are exempted from the obligations of the
Conference, will be continued."

I read that over three times to make quite sure of it, my curate looking
down smilingly at me.

"If _you_ are not of a certain standing, Father Dan, I'd like to know
who is."

"True for you," I replied musingly. "I believe I am called the Patriarch
of the Conference."

Visions of an old man, leaning back in his chair, whilst he was
proof-protected against theological bullets, swam before me; and I began
to feel like a man on a safe eminence, overlooking the battlefield, or a
Spanish lady at a bullfight.

"'Pon my word," I said, at length, "I'm beginning to think there is
something in it, after all. The Holy Ghost has something to say to our
good and holy prelates. There is no doubt there was a great waste of
time at these Conferences, and young men got into idle habits and
neglected their theology; and, you know, that's a serious matter. In
fact, it reaches sometimes to a mortal sin. We must _all_ study now. And
you see how practical the bishop is. There's Rubrics. Now, there's no
doubt at all that a good many of us don't respect the ceremonies of the
Mass. Go to Lisdoonvarna, and every fellow appears to have his own idea
of--"

[Illustration: "I read that over three times to make quite sure of it."]

"Pardon me, sir," said Father Letheby, "I cannot quite follow you
there. I must