he middle?"

"Well, no, indeed; there was certainly no breakdown, but the whole thing
was evidently a failure."

"Let me see," I cried. "There are certain infallible indications of the
success or failure of a sermon. Were there any priests present?"

"About twenty, I think," he replied. "That was the worst of it. You
don't mind the people at all."

"And weren't they very enthusiastic," I asked, "when you returned to
the sacristy?"

"No, indeed. Rather the contrary, which makes me think that I said
something either perilous or ill-advised."

"Humph! Didn't any fellow come up to you and knock the breath out of
your body by slapping you on the back?"

"No!" he replied sadly.

"Didn't any fellow say: _Prospere procede, et regna?_"

"No!" he said. "It was just the other way."

"Didn't any fellow shake you by the hand even, and say: _Prosit!
prosit!! prosit!!!_"

"I'm afraid not," he said gloomily.

"That's bad. Nor even, _macte virtute esto, Titus Manlius_?"

"No," he said. "There was no indication of sympathy whatsoever."

"Didn't any fellow drop into the vernacular, and say: 'Put the hand
there. Sure I never doubted you,' and wring your hand as if he wanted to
dislocate it?"

"No, no, no! There was simply dead silence."

"And perhaps they looked at you over their shoulders, and whispered
together, as they put their surplices into their bags, and stared at you
as if you were a sea-monster?"

"Something that way, indeed," said my poor curate.

"Did the bishop make any remark?"

"Yes. The bishop came over and said he was very grateful, indeed, for
that beautiful sermon. But that, of course, was purely conventional."

"And the people? How did they take it?"

"They were very quiet and attentive, indeed: apparently an intelligent
congregation."

"You don't think you were talking over their heads?"

"No, indeed. Even the poor women who were gathered under the pulpit
stared at me unmercifully; and I think a few persons in front were much
affected."

I waited for a few minutes to draw my deductions. But they were logical
enough.

"My dear boy," I said at length, "from a long and profound experience of
that wilful thing called human nature, allow me to tell you that every
indication you have mentioned points to the fact that you have preached
not only an edifying and useful, but a remarkable sermon--"

"Oh, that's only your usual goodness, Father Dan," he broke in. "I'm
quite certain it was a failu