machine, sir; I think it is the best one made, although
there is no great difference between this and the one over there; but I
think what difference there is, is in this one's favor. You can have it
for 75 dollars if you want it; if not, I will drive on."

"How do you like the looks on it, Samantha?"

Says I, "It is the kind I wanted to git."

Josiah took out his wallet, and counted out 75 dollars, and says he:

"Put that machine into that wagon where Samantha is."

The good lookin' feller was jest liftin' of it in, and countin' over his
money, when the two fellers come up with the colt. It seemed that they
had had a explanation as they was comin' back; I see they had as quick
as I catched sight on 'em, for they was a walkin' one on one side of the
road, and the other on the other, most tight up to the fence. They was
most dead the colt had run 'em so, and it did seem as if their faces
couldn't look no redder nor more madder than they did as we catched
sight on 'em and Josiah thanked 'em for drivin' back the colt; but when
they see that the other feller had sold us a machine, their faces _did_
look redder and madder.

But I didn't care a mite; we drove off tickled enough that we had got
through with our sufferin's with agents. And the colt had got so beat
out a runnin' and racin', that he drove home first-rate, walkin' along
by the old mare as stiddy as a deacon.

CHEER FOR THE CONSUMER

BY NIXON WATERMAN

I'm only a consumer, and it really doesn't matter
If you crowd me in the street cars till I couldn't well be flatter;
I'm only a consumer, and the strikers may go striking,
For it's mine to end my living if it isn't to my liking.
I am a sort of parasite without a special mission
Except to pay the damages--mine is a queer position:
The Fates unite to squeeze me till I couldn't well be flatter,
For I'm only a consumer, and it really doesn't matter.

The baker tilts the price of bread upon the vaguest rumor
Of damage to the wheat crop, but I'm only a consumer,
So it really doesn't matter, for there's no law that compells me
To pay the added charges on the loaf of bread he sells me.
The iceman leaves a smaller piece when days are growing hotter,
But I'm only a consumer, and I do not need iced water:
My business is to pay the bills and keep in a good humor,
And it really doesn't matter, for I'm only a consumer.

The milkman waters m