le about anything. One can simply never say 'Why?' again. The
thing's finished.

"Now this 'process' (as Father H. calls it) has gone on in a most
extraordinary manner ever since. That beginning near Ripon was like
opening a door into another country, and I've been walking ever since
and seeing new things. All sorts of things that I had believed as a
Catholic--things, I mean, which I assented to simply because the Church
said so, have, so to speak, come up and turned themselves inside out. I
couldn't write them down, because you can't write these things down, or
even put them intelligibly to yourself. You just _see that they are so_.
For instance, one morning at mass--quite suddenly--I saw how the
substance of the bread was changed, and how our Lord is united with the
soul at Communion--of course it's a mystery (that's what I mean by
saying that it can't be written down)--but I saw it, in a flash, and I
can see it still in a sort of way. Then another day when the Major was
talking about something or other (I think it was about the club he used
to belong to in Piccadilly), I understood about our Lady and how she is
just everything from one point of view. And so on. I had that kind of
thing at Doctor Whitty's a good deal, particularly when I was getting
better. I could talk to him all the time, too, or count the knobs on the
wardrobe, or listen to the Major and Gertie in the garden--and yet go on
all the time seeing things. I knew it wasn't any good talking to Doctor
Whitty himself much, though I can't imagine why a man like that doesn't
see it all for himself....

"It seems to me most extraordinary now that I ever could have had those
other thoughts I told Father H. about--I mean about sins, and about
wondering whether, after all, the Church was actually true. In a sort of
way, of course, they come back to me still, and I know perfectly well I
must be on my guard; but somehow it's different.

"Well, all this is what Father H. calls the 'Illuminative Way,' and I
think I understand what he means. It came to a sort of point on All
Souls' Eve at the monastery. I saw the whole thing then for a moment or
two, and not only Purgatory. But I will write that down later. And
Father H. tells me that I must begin to look forward to a new
'process'--what he calls the 'Way of Union.' I don't understand much
what he means by that; I don't see that more could happen to me. I am
absolutely and entirely happy; though I must say that ther