ime
afterwards with the instrument which would complete my transformation. He
taught me, in the presence of my new mother, how to fix it with some
tragacanth gum, and I found myself exactly like my friend. I would have
laughed at it, had not my heart been deeply grieved at the departure of
my beloved Salimberi, for he bade me farewell as soon as the curious
operation was completed. People laugh at forebodings; I do not believe in
them myself, but the foreboding of evil, which almost broke my heart as
he gave me his farewell kiss, did not deceive me. I felt the cold
shivering of death run through me; I felt I was looking at him for the
last time, and I fainted away. Alas! my fears proved only too prophetic.
Salimberi died a year ago in the Tyrol in the prime of life, with the
calmness of a true philosopher. His death compelled me to earn my living
with the assistance of my musical talent. My mother advised me to
continue to give myself out as a castrato, in the hope of being able to
take me to Rome. I agreed to do so, for I did not feel sufficient energy
to decide upon any other plan. In the meantime she accepted an offer for
the Ancona Theatre, and Petronio took the part of first female dancer; in
this way we played the comedy of 'The World Turned Upside Down.'

"After Salimberi, you are the only man I have known, and, if you like,
you can restore me to my original state, and make me give up the name of
Bellino, which I hate since the death of my protector, and which begins
to inconvenience me. I have only appeared at two theatres, and each time
I have been compelled to submit to the scandalous, degrading examination,
because everywhere I am thought to have too much the appearance of a
girl, and I am admitted only after the shameful test has brought
conviction. Until now, fortunately, I have had to deal only with old
priests who, in their good faith, have been satisfied with a very slight
examination, and have made a favourable report to the bishop; but I might
fall into the hands of some young abbe, and the test would then become a
more severe one. Besides, I find myself exposed to the daily persecutions
of two sorts of beings: those who, like you, cannot and will not believe
me to be a man, and those who, for the satisfaction of their disgusting
propensities, are delighted at my being so, or find it advantageous to
suppose me so. The last particularly annoy me! Their tastes are so
infamous, their habits so low, that I