hawmut, so called because the inhabitants are always muttering
pshaw. Eh?"

"Pretty good," said Johnson. "I wish I'd said that."

"Well, tell Boswell," said Shakespeare. "He'll make you say it, and
it'll be all the same in a hundred years."

Lord Bacon, accompanied by Charon and the ice for Nero and the ale for
Doctor Johnson, appeared as Shakespeare spoke. The philosopher bowed
stiffly at Doctor Johnson, as though he hardly approved of him, extended
his left hand to Shakespeare, and stared coldly at Nero.

"Did you send for me, William?" he asked, languidly.

"I did," said Shakespeare. "I sent for you because this imperial
violinist here says that you wrote _Othello_."

"What nonsense," said Bacon. "The only plays of yours I wrote were
_Ham_--"

"Sh!" said Shakespeare, shaking his head madly. "Hush. Nobody's said
anything about that. This is purely a discussion of _Othello_."

"The fiddling ex-Emperor Nero," said Bacon, loudly enough to be heard all
about the room, "is mistaken when he attributes _Othello_ to me."

"Aha, Master Nero!" cried Shakespeare triumphantly. "What did I tell
you?"

"Then I erred, that is all," said Nero. "And I apologize. But really,
my Lord," he added, addressing Bacon, "I fancied I detected your fine
Italian hand in that."

"No. I had nothing to do with the _Othello_," said Bacon. "I never
really knew who wrote it."

"Never mind about that," whispered Shakespeare. "You've said enough."

"That's good too," said Nero, with a chuckle. "Shakespeare here claims
it as his own."

Bacon smiled and nodded approvingly at the blushing Avonian.

"Will always was having his little joke," he said. "Eh, Will? How we
fooled 'em on _Hamlet_, eh, my boy? Ha-ha-ha! It was the greatest joke
of the century."

"Well, the laugh is on you," said Doctor Johnson. "If you wrote _Hamlet_
and didn't have the sense to acknowledge it, you present to my mind a
closer resemblance to Simple Simon than to Socrates. For my part, I
don't believe you did write it, and I do believe that Shakespeare did. I
can tell that by the spelling in the original edition."

"Shakespeare was my stenographer, gentlemen," said Lord Bacon. "If you
want to know the whole truth, he did write _Hamlet_, literally. But it
was at my dictation."

"I deny it," said Shakespeare. "I admit you gave me a suggestion now and
then so as to keep it dull and heavy in spots, so that it would seem more
like a real tra