she cannot help the infirmity
which age has brought her; the rest of the family do not scold her for
her remissnesses, but at times I do--I can't seem to control myself.
Don't I try? I do try. Now, then, when I was ready to dress, this
morning, no clean clothes had been put out. I lost my temper; I lose it
easiest and quickest in the early morning. I rang; and immediately began
to warn myself not to show temper, and to be careful and speak gently.
I safe-guarded myself most carefully. I even chose the very word I would
use: "You've forgotten the clean clothes, Jane." When she appeared in
the door I opened my mouth to say that phrase--and out of it, moved by
an instant surge of passion which I was not expecting and hadn't time to
put under control, came the hot rebuke, "You've forgotten them again!"
You say a man always does the thing which will best please his Interior
Master. Whence came the impulse to make careful preparation to save the
girl the humiliation of a rebuke? Did that come from the Master, who is
always primarily concerned about HIMSELF?

O.M. Unquestionably. There is no other source for any impulse.
SECONDARILY you made preparation to save the girl, but PRIMARILY its
object was to save yourself, by contenting the Master.

Y.M. How do you mean?

O.M. Has any member of the family ever implored you to watch your temper
and not fly out at the girl?

Y.M. Yes. My mother.

O.M. You love her?

Y.M. Oh, more than that!

O.M. You would always do anything in your power to please her?

Y.M. It is a delight to me to do anything to please her!

O.M. Why? YOU WOULD DO IT FOR PAY, SOLELY--for PROFIT. What profit would
you expect and certainly receive from the investment?

Y.M. Personally? None. To please HER is enough.

O.M. It appears, then, that your object, primarily, WASN'T to save the
girl a humiliation, but to PLEASE YOUR MOTHER. It also appears that to
please your mother gives YOU a strong pleasure. Is not that the profit
which you get out of the investment? Isn't that the REAL profits and
FIRST profit?

Y.M. Oh, well? Go on.

O.M. In ALL transactions, the Interior Master looks to it that YOU GET
THE FIRST PROFIT. Otherwise there is no transaction.

Y.M. Well, then, if I was so anxious to get that profit and so intent
upon it, why did I threw it away by losing my temper?

O.M. In order to get ANOTHER profit which suddenly superseded it in
value.

Y.M. Where was it?

O.M. Ambushed behind yo