as poor Columbus. He elaborated a deep plan to find a new
route to an old country. Circumstance revised his plan for him, and he
found a new WORLD. And HE gets the credit of it to this day. He hadn't
anything to do with it.

Necessarily the scene of the real turning-point of my life (and of
yours) was the Garden of Eden. It was there that the first link was
forged of the chain that was ultimately to lead to the emptying of me
into the literary guild. Adam's TEMPERAMENT was the first command the
Deity ever issued to a human being on this planet. And it was the only
command Adam would NEVER be able to disobey. It said, "Be weak, be
water, be characterless, be cheaply persuadable." The latter command, to
let the fruit alone, was certain to be disobeyed. Not by Adam himself,
but by his TEMPERAMENT--which he did not create and had no authority
over. For the TEMPERAMENT is the man; the thing tricked out with clothes
and named Man is merely its Shadow, nothing more. The law of the tiger's
temperament is, Thou shalt kill; the law of the sheep's temperament is
Thou shalt not kill. To issue later commands requiring the tiger to let
the fat stranger alone, and requiring the sheep to imbue its hands in
the blood of the lion is not worth while, for those commands CAN'T be
obeyed. They would invite to violations of the law of TEMPERAMENT, which
is supreme, and take precedence of all other authorities. I cannot help
feeling disappointed in Adam and Eve. That is, in their temperaments.
Not in THEM, poor helpless young creatures--afflicted with temperaments
made out of butter; which butter was commanded to get into contact with
fire and BE MELTED. What I cannot help wishing is, that Adam had been
postponed, and Martin Luther and Joan of Arc put in their place--that
splendid pair equipped with temperaments not made of butter, but of
asbestos. By neither sugary persuasions nor by hell fire could Satan
have beguiled THEM to eat the apple. There would have been results!
Indeed, yes. The apple would be intact today; there would be no human
race; there would be no YOU; there would be no ME. And the old, old
creation-dawn scheme of ultimately launching me into the literary guild
would have been defeated.

HOW TO MAKE HISTORY DATES STICK

These chapters are for children, and I shall try to make the words large
enough to command respect. In the hope that you are listening, and that
you have confidence in me, I will proceed. Dates are d