I have a taste for buildings, musick, men.
Young travell'd coxcombs mighty knowledge boast,
With superficial Smatterings at Most.
Not so my mind, unsatisfied with hints,
Knows more than _Budgel_ writes, or _Roberts_ prints.
I know the town, all houses I have seen,
From _High-Park_ corner down to _Bednal-Green_.
Sure wretched _Wren_ was taught by bungling _Jones_,
To murder mortar, and disfigure stones!
Who in _Whitehall_ can symmetry discern?
I reckon _Convent-garden_ Church a _Barn_.
Nor hate I less thy vile Cathedral, _Paul_!
The choir's too big, the cupola's too small:
Substantial walls and heavy roofs I like,
'Tis _Vanbrug_'s structures that my fancy strike:
Such noble ruins ev'ry pile wou'd make,
I wish they'd tumble for the prospect's sake.
To lofty _Chelsea_ or to _Greenwich_ Dome,
Soldiers and sailors all are welcom'd home.
Her poor to palaces _Britannia_ brings,
St. _James_'s hospital may serve for kings.
Building so happily I understand,
That for one house I'd mortgage all my land.
_Dorick_, _Ionick_, shall not there be found,
But it shall cost me threescore thousand pound.
From out my honest workmen, I'll select
A _Bricklay'r_, and proclaim him architect;
First bid him build me a stupendous Dome,
Which _having finish'd_, we set out for _Rome_;
Take a weeks view of _Venice_ and the _Brent_,
Stare round, see nothing, and come home content.
I'll have my _Villa_ too, a sweet abode,
Its situation shall be _London_ road:
_Pots_ o'er the door I'll place like Cits balconies,
Which[1] _Bently_ calls the _Gardens of Adonis_.
I'll have my Gardens in the fashion too,
For what is beautiful that is not new?
Fair four-legg'd temples, theatres that vye,
With all the angles of a _Christmas_-pye.
Does it not merit the beholder's praise,
What's high to sink? and what is low to raise?
Slopes shall ascend where once a green-house stood,
And in my horse-pond I will plant a wood.
Let misers dread the hoarded gold to waste,
Expence and alteration shew a _Taste_.
In curious paintings I'm exceeding nice,
And know their several beauties by their _Price_.
_Auctions_ and _Sales_ I constantly attend,
But chuse my pictures by a _skilful friend_.
Originals and copies much the same,
The picture's value is the _painter's name_.
My taste in Sculpture from my choice is seen,
I buy no statues that are not obscene.
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