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I have a taste for buildings, musick, men. Young travell'd coxcombs mighty knowledge boast, With superficial Smatterings at Most. Not so my mind, unsatisfied with hints, Knows more than _Budgel_ writes, or _Roberts_ prints. I know the town, all houses I have seen, From _High-Park_ corner down to _Bednal-Green_. Sure wretched _Wren_ was taught by bungling _Jones_, To murder mortar, and disfigure stones! Who in _Whitehall_ can symmetry discern? I reckon _Convent-garden_ Church a _Barn_. Nor hate I less thy vile Cathedral, _Paul_! The choir's too big, the cupola's too small: Substantial walls and heavy roofs I like, 'Tis _Vanbrug_'s structures that my fancy strike: Such noble ruins ev'ry pile wou'd make, I wish they'd tumble for the prospect's sake. To lofty _Chelsea_ or to _Greenwich_ Dome, Soldiers and sailors all are welcom'd home. Her poor to palaces _Britannia_ brings, St. _James_'s hospital may serve for kings. Building so happily I understand, That for one house I'd mortgage all my land. _Dorick_, _Ionick_, shall not there be found, But it shall cost me threescore thousand pound. From out my honest workmen, I'll select A _Bricklay'r_, and proclaim him architect; First bid him build me a stupendous Dome, Which _having finish'd_, we set out for _Rome_; Take a weeks view of _Venice_ and the _Brent_, Stare round, see nothing, and come home content. I'll have my _Villa_ too, a sweet abode, Its situation shall be _London_ road: _Pots_ o'er the door I'll place like Cits balconies, Which[1] _Bently_ calls the _Gardens of Adonis_. I'll have my Gardens in the fashion too, For what is beautiful that is not new? Fair four-legg'd temples, theatres that vye, With all the angles of a _Christmas_-pye. Does it not merit the beholder's praise, What's high to sink? and what is low to raise? Slopes shall ascend where once a green-house stood, And in my horse-pond I will plant a wood. Let misers dread the hoarded gold to waste, Expence and alteration shew a _Taste_. In curious paintings I'm exceeding nice, And know their several beauties by their _Price_. _Auctions_ and _Sales_ I constantly attend, But chuse my pictures by a _skilful friend_. Originals and copies much the same, The picture's value is the _painter's name_. My taste in Sculpture from my choice is seen, I buy no statues that are not obscene. In
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