s an oak log. "These
things are much the effect of imagination," he tells you; "a little
self-control and resolution," &c. Ah me! it is delightful, when these
people, who are always talking about resolution, get caught on
shipboard. As the backwoodsman said to the Mississippi River, about the
steamboat, they "get their match." Our stout gentleman sits a quarter of
an hour, upright as a palm tree, his back squared against the rails,
pretending to be reading a paper; but a dismal look of disgust is
settling down about his lips; the old sea and his will are evidently
having a pitched battle. Ah, ha! there he goes for the stairway; says he
has left a book in the cabin, but shoots by with a most suspicious
velocity. You may fancy his finale.

Then, of course, there are young ladies,--charming creatures,--who, in
about ten minutes, are going to die, and are sure they shall die, and
don't care if they do; whom anxious papas, or brothers, or lovers
consign with all speed to those dismal lower regions, where the brisk
chambermaid, who has been expecting them, seems to think their agonies
and groans a regular part of the play.

I had come on board thinking, in my simplicity, of a fortnight to be
spent something like the fortnight on a trip to New Orleans, on one of
our floating river palaces; that we should sit in our state rooms, read,
sew, sketch, and chat; and accordingly I laid in a magnificent provision
in the way of literature and divers matters of fancy work, with which to
while away the time. Some last, airy touches, in the way of making up
bows, disposing ribbons, and binding collarets, had been left to these
long, leisure hours, as matters of amusement.

Let me warn you, if you ever go to sea, you may as well omit all such
preparations. Don't leave so much as the unlocking of a trunk to be done
after sailing. In the few precious minutes when the ship stands still,
before she weighs her anchor, set your house, that is to say, your state
room, as much in order as if you were going to be hanged; place every
thing in the most convenient position to be seized without trouble at a
moment's notice; for be sure that in half an hour after sailing an
infinite desperation will seize you, in which the grasshopper will be a
burden. If any thing is in your trunk, it might almost as well be in the
sea, for any practical probability of your getting to it.

Moreover, let your toilet be eminently simple, for you will find the
time co