d professes to know
the employment. The same messenger he calls with an imperious nod, and
after expostulation, where he hath left his fellows, in his ear, sends
him for some new spur-leathers or stockings by this time footed; and
when he is gone half the room, recalls him, and sayeth aloud, It is no
matter, let the greater bag alone till I come. And yet again calling him
closer, whispers (so that all the table may hear), that if his crimson
suit be ready against the day, the rest need no haste. He picks his
teeth when his stomach is empty, and calls for pheasants at a common
inn. You shall find him prizing the richest jewels and fairest horses,
when his purse yields not money enough for earnest. He thrusts himself
into the press before some great ladies, and loves to be seen near the
head of a great train. His talk is how many mourners he furnished with
gowns at his father's funeral, how many messes, how rich his coat is,
and how ancient, how great his alliance; what challenges he hath made
and answered; what exploits he did at Calais or Newport; and when he
hath commended others' buildings, furnitures, suits, compares them with
his own. When he hath undertaken to be the broker for some rich diamond,
he wears it, and pulling off his glove to stroke up his hair, thinks no
eye should have any other object. Entertaining his friend, he chides his
cook for no better cheer, and names the dishes he meant and wants. To
conclude, he is ever on the stage, and acts still a glorious part
abroad, when no man carries a baser heart, no man is more sordid and
careless at home. He is a Spanish soldier on an Italian theatre, a
bladder full of wind, a skinful of words, a fool's wonder and a wise
man's fool.
OF THE PRESUMPTUOUS.
Presumption is nothing but hope out of his wits, an high house upon weak
pillars. The presumptuous man loves to attempt great things, only
because they are hard and rare. His actions are bold and venturous, and
more full of hazard than use. He hoisteth sail in a tempest, and sayeth
never any of his ancestors were drowned. He goes into an infected house,
and says the plague dares not seize on noble blood. He runs on high
battlements, gallops down steep hills, rides over narrow bridges, walks
on weak ice, and never thinks, What if I fall? but, What if I run over
and fall not? He is a confident alchemist, and braggeth that the womb of
his furnace hath conceived a burden that will do all the world good;
which
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