enemy to the fine gentleman, and these things of compliment, and hates
ceremony in conversation, as the Puritan in religion. He distinguishes
not betwixt fair and double dealing, and suspects all smoothness for the
dress of knavery. He starts at the encounter of a salutation as an
assault, and beseeches you in choler to forbear your courtesy. He loves
not any thing in discourse that comes before the purpose, and is always
suspicious of a preface. Himself falls rudely still on his matter
without any circumstance, except he use an old proverb for an
introduction. He swears old out-of date innocent oaths, as, by the mass!
by our lady! and such like, and though there be lords present, he cries,
my masters! He is exceedingly in love with his humour, which makes him
always profess and proclaim it, and you must take what he says
patiently, because he is a plain man. His nature is his excuse still,
and other men's tyrant; for he must speak his mind, and that is his
worst, and craves your pardon most injuriously for not pardoning you.
His jests best become him, because they come from him rudely and
unaffected; and he has the luck commonly to have them famous. He is one
that will do more than he will speak, and yet speak more than he will
hear; for though he love to touch others, he is touchy himself, and
seldom to his own abuses replies but with his fists. He is as
squeazy[74] of his commendations, as his courtesy, and his good word is
like an eulogy in a satire. He is generally better favoured than he
favours, as being commonly well expounded in his bitterness, and no man
speaks treason more securely. He chides great men with most boldness,
and is counted for it an honest fellow. He is grumbling much in behalf
of the commonwealth, and is in prison oft for it with credit. He is
generally honest, but more generally thought so, and his downrightness
credits him, as a man not well bended and crookened to the times. In
conclusion, he is not easily bad in whom this quality is nature, but the
counterfeit is most dangerous, since he is disguised in a humour that
professes not to disguise.

A HANDSOME HOSTESS

Is the fairer commendation of an inn, above the fair sign, or fair
lodgings. She is the loadstone that attracts men of iron, gallants and
roarers, where they cleave sometimes long, and are not easily got off.
Her lips are your welcome, and your entertainment her company, which is
put into the reckoning too, and is the deare