and premeditated, and the figure of his countenance of a fortnight's
contriving; he will not curse you without-book and extempore, but in
some choice way, and perhaps as some great man curses. Every action of
his cries,--"_Do ye mark me?_" and men do mark him how absurd he is: for
affectation is the most betraying humour, and nothing that puzzles a man
less to find out than this. All the actions of his life are like so many
things bodged in without any natural cadence or connection at all. You
shall track him all through like a school-boy's theme, one piece from
one author and this from another, and join all in this general, that
they are none of his own. You shall observe his mouth not made for that
tone, nor his face for that simper; and it is his luck that his finest
things most misbecome him. If he affect the gentleman as the humour most
commonly lies that way, not the least punctilio of a fine man, but he is
strict in to a hair, even to their very negligences, which he cons as
rules. He will not carry a knife with him to wound reputation, and pay
double a reckoning, rather than ignobly question it: and he is full of
this--ignobly--and nobly--and genteely; and this mere fear to trespass
against the genteel way puts him out most of all. It is a humour runs
through many things besides, but is an ill-favoured ostentation in all,
and thrives not:--and the best use of such men is, they are good parts
in a play.

A PROFANE MAN

Is one that denies God as far as the law gives him leave; that is, only
does not say so in downright terms, for so far he may go. A man that
does the greatest sins calmly, and as the ordinary actions of life, and
as calmly discourses of it again. He will tell you his business is to
break such a commandment, and the breaking of the commandment shall
tempt him to it. His words are but so many vomitings cast up to the
loathsomeness of the hearers, only those of his company[91] loath it
not. He will take upon him with oaths to pelt some tenderer man out of
his company, and makes good sport at his conquest over the puritan fool.
The Scripture supplies him for jests, and he reads it on purpose to be
thus merry: he will prove you his sin out of the Bible, and then ask if
you will not take that authority. He never sees the church but of
purpose to sleep in it, or when some silly man preaches, with whom he
means to make sport, and is most jocund in the church. One that
nick-names clergymen with all t