ould--a mere form of
words, needless to say, as one had not the slightest intention of
doing anything. And yet, as often as not, there would be a
disconcerting sequel. Profuse outpourings of gratitude in letter form
would come to hand, two or three weeks later: Jimmy had got his job,
entirely owing to one's efforts in his behalf: the memory of one's
services in this sacred cause would be carried to the grave: might
Jimmy call and express his feeling of obligation in person? One had
not the faintest recollection of what all the bother was about; but it
was easy to dictate another letter expressing one's gratification at
the recognition of Jimmy's merits and one's heartfelt regret that
owing to stress of work one would be unable to grant him an audience.
To hint that the appointment had presumably been made by the
responsible official, on the strength of an application received from
Jimmy in proper form, that there had been no wheels within wheels, and
that backstairs had never got beyond the first landing, would have
been disobliging.

Some applicants for "intelligence work" possessed, or gave out that
they possessed, the gift of tongues, and the provision of interpreters
was one of the many duties which had to be performed by the huge
agglomeration of branches over which I exercised--or was supposed to
exercise--sway. The subordinate charged with the provision had been
retrieved from the Reserve of Officers and business pursuits, but
retained the instincts of the soldier--a man with all his wits about
him, but who sometimes positively frightened one by his unconventional
procedure. One hardly likes to say such a thing of a man behind his
back, but I really would not have been surprised to hear that, because
he had been unable to concur in the views set out on it by other
branches, he had put one of those bloated War Office files, on which
one more or less automatically expresses dissent with the last minute
without reading the remainder, into the fire. He made up his mind in a
moment, which was irregular; and he generally made it up right, which
was unprecedented. Experts in many outlandish vernaculars had to be
found from the start, and he always managed to produce the article
required at the shortest notice. As a matter of fact, he had laid
hands upon a tame professor, whom he kept immured in a fastness
somewhere in the attics, and who was always prepared to vouch for the
proficiency of anybody in any language when r