fered from
its ill effects. At that time I had never heard of self-abuse by
women. I listened to her story with much sympathy and interest,
but some skepticism, and determined to try experiments upon
myself, with the idea of getting to understand the matter in
order to assist my friend. After some manipulation, I succeeded
in awakening what had before been unconscious and unknown. I
purposely allowed the habit to grow upon me, and one night--for I
always operated upon myself before going to sleep, never in the
morning--I obtained considerable pleasurable satisfaction, but
the following day my conscience awoke; I also felt pain located
at the back of my head and down the spinal column. I ceased my
operations for a time, and then began again somewhat regularly,
once a month, a few days after menstruation. During those months
in which I exercised moderation, I think I obtained much local
relief with comparatively little injury, but, later on, finding
myself in robust health, I increased my experiments, the habit
grew upon me, and it was only with an almost superhuman effort
that I broke myself free. Needless to say that I gave no
assistance to my suffering friend, nor did I ever refer to the
subject after her confession to me.

"Some two years later I heard of sexual practices between women
as a frequent habit in certain quarters. I again interested
myself in masturbation, for I had been told something that led me
to believe that there was much more for me to discover. Not
knowing the most elementary physiology, I questioned some of my
friends, and then commenced again. I restricted myself to relief
from local congestion and irritation by calling forth the
emission of mucus, rather than by seeking pleasure. At the same
time, I sought to discover what manipulation of the clitoris
would lead to. The habit grew upon me with startling rapidity,
and I became more or less its slave, but I suffered from no very
great ill effects until I started in search of more discoveries.
I found that I was a complete ignoramus as to the formation of a
woman's body, and by experiments upon myself sought to discover
the vagina. I continued my operations until I obtained an
entrance. I think the rough handling of myself during this final
stage disturbed my nervous system, and caused me considerable