s had no rest,
she says, since she has learned to love her Jesus. He desires her to have
sexual relations with someone, and she cannot succeed; 'all my soul's
strength is arrested by this constant endeavor.' Her new surroundings
modify her behavior, and now it is the doctor whom she pursues with her
obsessions. 'I expected everything from the charity of the priests I have
known; I have not deserved what I wanted from them. But is not a doctor
free to do everything for the good of the patients intrusted to him by
Providence? Cannot a doctor thus devote himself? Since I have tasted the
tree of life I am tormented by the desire to share it with a loving
friend.' Then she falls in love with an employee, and makes the crudest
advances to him, believing that she is thus executing the will of Jesus.
'Necessity makes laws,' she exclaims to him, 'the moments are pressing, I
have been waiting too long.' She still speaks of her religious vocation
which might be compromised by so long a delay. 'I do not want to get
married.' Gradually a transformation took place; the love of God was
effaced and earthly love became more intense than ever. 'Quitting the
heights in which I wished to soar, I am coming so near to earth that I
shall soon fix my desires there.' In a last letter Therese recognizes with
terror the insanity to which the exaltation of her imagination had led
her. 'Now I only believe in God and in suffering; I feel that it is
necessary for me to get married.'"

Mariani[402] has very fully described a case of erotico-religious insanity
(climacteric paranoia on an hysterical basis) in a married woman of 44.
During the early stages of her disorder she inflicted all sorts of
penances upon herself (fasting, constant prayer, drinking her own urine,
cleaning dirty plates with her tongue, etc.). Finally she felt that by her
penances she had obtained forgiveness of her sins, and then began a stage
of joy and satisfaction during which she believed that she had entered
into a state of the most intimate personal relationship with Jesus. She
finally recovered. Mariani shows how closely this history corresponds with
the histories of the saints, and that all the acts and emotions of this
woman can be exactly paralleled in the lives of famous saints.[403]

The justice of these comparisons becomes manifest when we turn to the
records that have been left by holy persons. A most instructive record
from this point of view is the autobiography of