ng absorbed in thoughts of my confessor, and
feeling discouraged, as I thought that Jesus, whom I loved so much, would
have nothing to do with me, "Mother," I cried out, "what must I do to win
your son?" My eyes were fixed on the sky, and I remained in a state of
mad expectation. It was absurd. I to become the mother of the World! My
heart went on repeating: "Yes, he is coming; Jesus is coming!"' The
psychic erethism, reverberating on the sensorial and sensory centres, led
to genital, auditory, and visual hallucinations, which produced the
sensation of sexual connection. 'For the first time I went to bed and was
not alone. As soon as I felt that touch, I heard the words: "Fear not, it
is I." I was lost in Him whom I loved. For many days I was cradled in a
world of pleasure; I saw Him everywhere, overwhelming me with His chaste
caresses.' On the following day at mass she seemed to see Calvary before
her. 'Jesus was naked and surrounded by a thousand voluptuous
imaginations; His arms were loosened from the cross, and he said to me:
"Come!" I longed to fly to Him with my body, but could not make up my mind
to show myself naked. However, I was carried away by a force I could not
control, I threw myself on my Saviour's neck, and felt that all was over
between the world and me.' From that day, 'by sheer reasoning,' she has
understood everything. Previously she thought that the religious life was
a renunciation of the joys of marriage and enjoyment generally; now she
understands its object. Jesus Christ desires that she should have
relations with a priest; he is himself incarnated in priests; just as St.
Joseph was the guardian of the Virgin, so are priests the guardians of
nuns. She has been impregnated by Jesus, and this imaginary pregnancy
pre-occupies her in the highest degree. From this time she masturbated
daily. She cannot even go to communion without experiencing voluptuous
sensations. Her delusions having thus become systematized, nothing shakes
her tenacity in seeking to carry them out; she attempts at all costs to
have relations with her confessor, embraces him, throws herself at his
knees, pursues him, and so becomes a cause of scandal. When brought to the
asylum, there is intense sexual excitement, and she masturbates a dozen
times a day, even when talking to the doctor. The sexual organs are
normal, the vulva moist and red, the vagina is painful to touch; the
contact of the finger causes erectile turgescence. She ha