' acts the nursemaid 'alf the ruddy day;
An' fifty other little jobs that ain't exactly fun
Accompany one stripe (without the pay).

But no, we never grouses in the Roy'l Artillerie,
Of cheerful things to think there's quite a lot;
Old Sergeant Blobbs is goin' 'ome the end of Februree
To do instructin' stunts at Aldershot;
The S.M.'s recommended ('Eavens!) for commissioned rank,
An' little changes means a step up 'ere,
So if I keep me temper an' go easy with vang blank,
I'll soon drop "_actin_'" off the "bombardier."

* * * * *

[Illustration: WHO FOLLOWS?]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

[Illustration: OPPOSITION APPROVAL OF THE NEW BOYS.

{ MR. WINSTON CHURCHILL (_patting Sir EDWARD CARSON on the back_) }
{ MR. HERBERT SAMUEL (_patting Mr. BONAR LAW on the back_) }

"HE'S BEEN TALKING SENSE."]

_Monday, February 19th_.--The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER announced that
the "new money" subscribed for the War Loan amounted to at least seven
hundred millions. Being a modest man he refrained from saying, "A loan, I
did it," though it was largely due to his faith in the generosity and good
sense of his fellow-citizens that the rate of interest was not more onerous
to the State.

Mr. LYNCH thinks it would be a good idea if Ireland were specially
represented at the Peace Conference, in order that her delegates might
assert her right to self-government. I dare say, if pressed, he would be
prepared to nominate at least one of her representatives. Having regard to
the Nationalist attitude towards military service Mr. BALFOUR might have
retorted that only belligerents would be represented at the Peace
Conference, but he contented himself with a simple negative.

There is an erroneous impression that Mr. LLOYD GEORGE sits in his private
room scheming out new Departments and murmuring like the gentleman in the
advertisement of the elastic bookcase, "How beautifully it grows!" Up to
the present, however, there are only thirty-three actual Ministers of the
Crown, not counting such small fry as Under-Secretaries, and their salaries
merely amount to the trifle of L133,500. It is pleasant to learn that a
branch of the Shipping Controller's department is appropriately housed in
the Lake Dwellings in St. James's Park; and, in view of Mr. KING'S
objection that the members of the Secret Service with whom he has come into
conta