was the
burden of the PRIME MINISTER'S appeal to the Nation. The farmer is to have
a guaranteed minimum price for his produce, the agricultural labourer is to
be raised to comparative affluence by a minimum wage of 25_s._ a week, and
the rest of us are to go without most of our imported luxuries and a good
many necessities. So impressed were Members by the gloominess of the
prospect that the moment the speech was over they rushed out to secure what
they felt might be their last really substantial luncheon, and Mr. DAVID
MASON, who had nobly essayed to fill the breach caused by Mr. ASQUITH'S
absence, was soon talking to empty benches.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Big 'Un._ "MY DEAR FELLOW! IS IT REALLY TRUE THAT YOU
HAVE TO JOIN UP?"

_The Little 'Un._ "YES; BUT DON'T LET IT GET ABOUT. YOU SEE, THE IDEA IS TO
SPRING IT ON THE GERMANS, AS IT WERE, IN MARCH."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: ACROBAT, HAVING BEEN OFFICIALLY INFORMED THAT HE BELONGS TO
ONE OF THE NON-ESSENTIAL PROFESSIONS, DETERMINES NEVERTHELESS TO DEVOTE HIS
TALENT TO THE CAUSE OF HIS SUFFERING FELLOW-COUNTRYMEN.]

* * * * *

THE COMPLIMENT.

We all know the man with a grievance and avoid him. But there is another
man with a grievance whom I rather like, and this is his story. I must, of
course, let him tell it in the first-person-singular, because otherwise
what is the use of having a grievance at all? The first-person-singular
narrative form is the grievance's compensation. Listen.

"I am an old Oxonian who joined the Royal Naval Division as an ordinary
seaman not long after the outbreak of the War, and being perhaps not too
physically vigorous and having a certain rhetorical gift, developed at the
Union, I was told off, after some months' training, to take part in a
recruiting campaign. We pursued the usual tactics. First a trumpeter
awakened the neighbourhood, very much as Mr. HAWTREY is aroused from his
coma in his delightful new play, and then the people drew round. One by one
we mounted whatever rostrum there was--a drinking fountain, say--and spoke
our little piece, urging the claims of country.

"As a rule the audience was either errand-boys, girls or old men; but we
did our best.

"Sometimes, however, there would be an evening meeting in a public
building, and then the proceedings were more formal and pretentious. The
trumpeter disappeared and