w," I said, "we don't seem to be doing as much as we might for
Lord DEVONPORT."

"You're wrong," she said; "I'm keeping hens in the stable-yard."

"Hens? What do you know about hens?"

"For the matter of that, what do you?"

"That's not the question," I said, "but I'll answer it all the same. I know
that most hens are called Buff Orpingtons, and that they never lay any eggs
unless you put a china egg in their nest just to coax them along and rouse
their ambition. Francesca, have you put a china egg where our Buff
Orpingtons can see it?"

"Frederick is looking after these domestic details. He seems to think that
if he goes to the hen-house every ten minutes or so the laying of eggs will
be promoted. Won't you go round with him next time?"

"No," I said, "I've never seen a hen lay an egg yet, and I'm not going to
begin at my time of life. Besides, I've already said they never lay eggs
even when you don't watch them."

"Wrong again," she said. "We got one egg this morning."

"Francesca," I said, "this _is_ exciting. Did the happy mother announce the
event to the world in the usual way?"

"Yes, she screamed and cackled for about a quarter-of-an-hour, and
Frederick came along and seized the subject of her rejoicing. You're going
to have it to-night, boiled, instead of soup and fish."

"Isn't that splendid?" I said. "At this rate we shall soon be
self-supporting, and then we can snap our fingers at Lord DEVONPORT."

"I never snap my fingers," she said. "No well-brought-up hen-keeper ever
does. Besides, it's our duty to help the Government all we can, so that
Lord DEVONPORT may have so much more to play with."

"Why should he want to play with it?" I said. "He doesn't strike me as
being that kind of man at all."

"I daresay he plays in his off-hours."

"A man like that," I said, "hasn't any off-hours. He's chin-deep in his
work."

"Anyhow," she said, "I should like him to know that we're pulling up the
herbaceous border and planting it with potatoes, and that we've started
keeping hens, and that we've already got one egg, and that when the time
comes we shall not lack for chicken, roast or boiled."

"Francesca," I said, "how can you allude so flippantly to the tragedies
which are inseparable from the possession of Buff Orpingtons? In the
morning a young bird struts about in his pride, resolved to live his life
fearlessly and to salute the dawn at any and every hour before the break of
day. Then something hap