rs. It is not
thought that he did it purposely.

***

At the Billericay Tribunal an applicant last week stated that he had nine
children, but upon counting them again he discovered that he had ten. There
seems to be no excuse for this sort of thing, for Adding machines are now
fairly well advertised.

***

Discussing the latest dress fashion, a lady writer says, "It is a most
ridiculous dress. Nothing worse could be conceived." This, of course, is
foolish talk, for the lady has not seen next season's style.

***

Austrian tobacconists are now prohibited from selling more than one cigar a
day to a customer. To conserve the supply still further it is proposed to
compel the tobacconist to offer each customer the alternative of nuts.

***

"When I see a map of the British Empire," said Mr. PONSONBY, M.P., "I do
not feel any pride whatsoever." People have been known to express similar
sentiments upon sighting certain M.P.'s.

***

"The public must hold up the policeman's hands," said a London magistrate
in a recent traffic case. It is astonishing how some policeman are able to
hold them up without assistance for several seconds at a time.

***

The staff of the new Pensions Minister, it is announced, will be over two
thousand. It is still hoped, however, that there may be a small surplus
which can be devoted to the needs of disabled soldiers.

***

Several men have been arrested in Dresden for passing counterfeit food
tickets. The defence will presumably be that it wasn't real food.

***

The Royal Engineers are advertising for seamen for the Inland Water
Transport Section. The Chief Transport Officer, we understand, has already
hoisted his bargee.

***

Eggs to the number of six million odd have just arrived from China, says a
news item, and will be used for confectionery. Had they arrived three
months ago nothing could have averted a General Election.

***

A hen while being sold at a Red Cross sale at Horsham laid an egg which
fetched 35_s._ In the best hen circles, where steady silent work is being
done, there is a growing tendency to frown upon these isolated acts of
ostentatious patriotism.

***

_The Times_, it seems, has not published a complete list of its rivals in
the desperate struggle for the smallest circulation. A Finchley Church
magazine has increased its price to 1-1/2_d._ a copy.

***

Pape