and useful as the old one, they need not hesitate
to adopt it. It has the advantage of being _new_; and, moreover, it sounds
_large_, and will make the _commonalty stare_. Let it be distinctly
understood that you teach '[_Kirkham's_] _philosophical grammar_, founded
on reason and common sense,' and you will pass for a very learned man, and
make all the good housewives wonder at the rapid march of intellect, and
the vast improvements of the age."--_Ib._, p. 141.

28. The _pretty promises_ with which these "Familiar Lectures" abound, are
also worthy to be noticed here, as being among the peculiar attractions of
the performance. The following may serve as a specimen:

"If you _proceed according to my instructions_, you will be sure to acquire
a practical knowledge of Grammar in _a short time_."--_Kirkham's Gram._, p.
49. "If you have sufficient _resolution to do this_, you will, in a short
time, _perfectly understand_ the nature and office of the different parts
of speech, their various properties and relations, and the rules of syntax
that apply to them; _and, in a few weeks_, be able to speak and write
accurately."--_Ib._, p. 62. "You will please to turn back and read over
again _the whole five lectures_. You must exercise _a little_
patience."--_Ib._, p. 82. "By studying these lectures with attention, you
will acquire _more grammatical_ knowledge in three months, than is commonly
obtained in _two years_."--_Ib._, p. 82. "I will conduct you _so smoothly
through the moods and tenses_, and the conjugation of verbs, that, instead
of finding yourself involved in obscurities and deep intricacies, you will
scarcely find _an obstruction to impede your progress_."--_Ib._, p. 133.
"The supposed Herculean task of learning to conjugate verbs, will be
transformed into _a few hours of pleasant pastime_."--_Ib._, p. 142. "_By
examining carefully_ the conjugation of the verb through this mood, you
will find it _very easy_."--_Ib._, p. 147. "By pursuing the following
direction, you can, _in a very short time_, learn to conjugate any
verb."--_Ib._, p. 147. "Although this mode of procedure _may, at first,
appear to be laborious_, yet, as it is necessary, I trust you will not
hesitate to adopt it. _My confidence in your perseverance_, induces me to
recommend _any course_ which I know will tend to facilitate your
progress."--_Ib._, p. 148.

29. The grand boast of this author is, that he _has succeeded_ in "pleasing
himself and the public."