Horse traders are considerate and tender of each other's
feelings compared with two rural automobile owners who are talking swap
with any enthusiasm.
"Hello, Pelty," says Chet. "Separator busted again?"
Everybody laughs, and Chet walks all around the machine. "Why, it ain't
a separator at all," he finally says. "What is it, Pelty?"
"If you'd ever owned an automobile you'd know," grunts Amthorne,
hauling off a tire. "What's become of that tinware exhibit you used to
block up traffic with?"
Chet gets the laugh this time.
"That tinware exhibit stepped over from Jenniesburg in thirty minutes
flat this morning," says Chet. "Lucky you weren't on the road. I'd have
thrown mud on your wind shield."
"Say!" Pelty shouts. "Your machine couldn't fall ten miles in thirty
minutes. Why don't you get a real automobile? What will you give me to
boot for mine?"
They are off, and business in the vicinity suspends.
"I'll trade with you, Pelty," says Chet calmly--quite calmly. "Let me
look it over."
He walks carefully around the auto, opens the hood and looks in. "Funny
engine, isn't it? I saw one like that at the World's Fair."
Pelty has the hood of Chet's machine open too and is right there with
the retort courteous. "Is this an engine or a steam heater?" he asks.
"What pressure does she carry?"
"She never heats at all except when I run a long time on low," Chet says
eagerly.
"Oh, yes," says Pelty, "I never have to go into low much--"
"Gosh!" Chet explodes. "When you go up Sanders Hill, they have to close
two district schools for the noise."
"Only time you ever heard me I was hauling you up with your broken
jack-shaft," snorts Pelty. "You ought to get some iron parts for your
car. Cheese has gone out of style."
"You still use it for tires, I see," says Chet.
"Never mind," says Pelty wrathfully. "I get mileage out of my machine; I
don't drive around town and then spend two days shoveling out carbon."
"Peculiar radiator you've got," says Chet, changing the subject. "Oh, I
see; it's a road sprinkler. What do you get from the city for laying the
dust?"
"I can stop that leak in two minutes with a handful of corn meal," says
Pelty, busily surveying Chet's machine. "Do you still strip a gear on
this thing every time you try to back?"
"Why do you carry a horn?" asks Chet. "You're wasteful; I heard your
valves chattering when I was three blocks away."
"I didn't hear yours chatter much last Tuesday on
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