know it was Mr.
Jenkins, I know he had a blue coat on, and I would say it as positively
as I do now, if they were the last words I had to speak!'

If the contradictory couple are blessed with children, they are not the
less contradictory on that account. Master James and Miss Charlotte
present themselves after dinner, and being in perfect good humour, and
finding their parents in the same amiable state, augur from these
appearances half a glass of wine a-piece and other extraordinary
indulgences. But unfortunately Master James, growing talkative upon such
prospects, asks his mamma how tall Mrs. Parsons is, and whether she is
not six feet high; to which his mamma replies, 'Yes, she should think she
was, for Mrs. Parsons is a very tall lady indeed; quite a giantess.'
'For Heaven's sake, Charlotte,' cries her husband, 'do not tell the child
such preposterous nonsense. Six feet high!' 'Well,' replies the lady,
'surely I may be permitted to have an opinion; my opinion is, that she is
six feet high--at least six feet.' 'Now you know, Charlotte,' retorts
the gentleman sternly, 'that that is _not_ your opinion--that you have no
such idea--and that you only say this for the sake of contradiction.'
'You are exceedingly polite,' his wife replies; 'to be wrong about such a
paltry question as anybody's height, would be no great crime; but I say
again, that I believe Mrs. Parsons to be six feet--more than six feet;
nay, I believe you know her to be full six feet, and only say she is not,
because I say she is.' This taunt disposes the gentleman to become
violent, but he cheeks himself, and is content to mutter, in a haughty
tone, 'Six feet--ha! ha! Mrs. Parsons six feet!' and the lady answers,
'Yes, six feet. I am sure I am glad you are amused, and I'll say it
again--six feet.' Thus the subject gradually drops off, and the
contradiction begins to be forgotten, when Master James, with some
undefined notion of making himself agreeable, and putting things to
rights again, unfortunately asks his mamma what the moon's made of; which
gives her occasion to say that he had better not ask her, for she is
always wrong and never can be right; that he only exposes her to
contradiction by asking any question of her; and that he had better ask
his papa, who is infallible, and never can be wrong. Papa, smarting
under this attack, gives a terrible pull at the bell, and says, that if
the conversation is to proceed in this way, the children ha