is is so pleasant a jest that the lady is mightily amused, as
are all the other ladies similarly situated who are within hearing; and
while they are enjoying it to the full, the gentleman nods again, turns
upon his heel, and saunters away.

There are times, however, when his company is not so agreeable, though
equally unexpected; such as when the lady has invited one or two
particular friends to tea and scandal, and he happens to come home in the
very midst of their diversion. It is a hundred chances to one that he
remains in the house half an hour, but the lady is rather disturbed by
the intrusion, notwithstanding, and reasons within herself,--'I am sure I
never interfere with him, and why should he interfere with me? It can
scarcely be accidental; it never happens that I have a particular reason
for not wishing him to come home, but he always comes. It's very
provoking and tiresome; and I am sure when he leaves me so much alone for
his own pleasure, the least he could do would be to do as much for mine.'
Observing what passes in her mind, the gentleman, who has come home for
his own accommodation, makes a merit of it with himself; arrives at the
conclusion that it is the very last place in which he can hope to be
comfortable; and determines, as he takes up his hat and cane, never to be
so virtuous again.

Thus a great many cool couples go on until they are cold couples, and the
grave has closed over their folly and indifference. Loss of name,
station, character, life itself, has ensued from causes as slight as
these, before now; and when gossips tell such tales, and aggravate their
deformities, they elevate their hands and eyebrows, and call each other
to witness what a cool couple Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so always were, even in
the best of times.

THE PLAUSIBLE COUPLE

The plausible couple have many titles. They are 'a delightful couple,'
an 'affectionate couple,' 'a most agreeable couple, 'a good-hearted
couple,' and 'the best-natured couple in existence.' The truth is, that
the plausible couple are people of the world; and either the way of
pleasing the world has grown much easier than it was in the days of the
old man and his ass, or the old man was but a bad hand at it, and knew
very little of the trade.

'But is it really possible to please the world!' says some doubting
reader. It is indeed. Nay, it is not only very possible, but very easy.
The ways are crooked, and sometimes foul and low. What