ging ways of children! Saunders, why don't you get
married?' Now, this is an embarrassing question, because Mr. Saunders
has been thinking that if he had at any time entertained matrimonial
designs, the revelation of that day would surely have routed them for
ever. 'I am glad, however,' says Mr. Whiffler, 'that you _are_ a
bachelor,--glad on one account, Saunders; a selfish one, I admit. Will
you do Mrs. Whiffler and myself a favour?' Mr. Saunders is
surprised--evidently surprised; but he replies, 'with the greatest
pleasure.' 'Then, will you, Saunders,' says Mr. Whiffler, in an
impressive manner, 'will you cement and consolidate our friendship by
coming into the family (so to speak) as a godfather?' 'I shall be proud
and delighted,' replies Mr. Saunders: 'which of the children is it?
really, I thought they were all christened; or--' 'Saunders,' Mr.
Whiffler interposes, 'they _are_ all christened; you are right. The fact
is, that Mrs. Whiffler is--in short, we expect another.' 'Not a ninth!'
cries the friend, all aghast at the idea. 'Yes, Saunders,' rejoins Mr.
Whiffler, solemnly, 'a ninth. Did we drink Mrs. Whiffler's health? Let
us drink it again, Saunders, and wish her well over it!'

Doctor Johnson used to tell a story of a man who had but one idea, which
was a wrong one. The couple who dote upon their children are in the same
predicament: at home or abroad, at all times, and in all places, their
thoughts are bound up in this one subject, and have no sphere beyond.
They relate the clever things their offspring say or do, and weary every
company with their prolixity and absurdity. Mr. Whiffler takes a friend
by the button at a street corner on a windy day to tell him a _bon mot_
of his youngest boy's; and Mrs. Whiffler, calling to see a sick
acquaintance, entertains her with a cheerful account of all her own past
sufferings and present expectations. In such cases the sins of the
fathers indeed descend upon the children; for people soon come to regard
them as predestined little bores. The couple who dote upon their
children cannot be said to be actuated by a general love for these
engaging little people (which would be a great excuse); for they are apt
to underrate and entertain a jealousy of any children but their own. If
they examined their own hearts, they would, perhaps, find at the bottom
of all this, more self-love and egotism than they think of. Self-love
and egotism are bad qualities, of whic