my life
it was the first time that I had ever stood upon boards which were not
paid for by another.

Then I proceeded to go from room to room with a delicious sense of
exploration. There were two upon the ground floor, sixteen feet square
each, and I saw with satisfaction that the wall papers were in fair
condition. The front one would make a consulting room, the other a
waiting room, though I did not care to reflect who was most likely to do
the waiting. I was in the highest spirits, and did a step dance in each
room as an official inauguration.

Then down a winding wooden stair to the basement, where were kitchen
and scullery, dimly lit, and asphalt-floored. As I entered the latter I
stood staring. In every corner piles of human jaws were grinning at me.
The place was a Golgotha! In that half light the effect was sepulchral.
But as I approached and picked up one of them the mystery vanished.
They were of plaster-of-Paris, and were the leavings evidently of the
dentist, who had been the last tenant. A more welcome sight was a huge
wooden dresser with drawers and a fine cupboard in the corner. It only
wanted a table and a chair to be a furnished room.

Then I ascended again and went up the first flight of stairs. There were
two other good sized apartments there. One should be my bedroom, and the
other a spare room. And then another flight with two more. One for the
servant, when I had one, and the other for a guest.

From the windows I had a view of the undulating gray back of the city,
with the bustle of green tree tops. It was a windy day, and the clouds
were drifting swiftly across the heavens, with glimpses of blue between.
I don't know how it was, but as I stood looking through the grimy panes
in the empty rooms a sudden sense of my own individuality and of my
responsibility to some higher power came upon me, with a vividness which
was overpowering. Here was a new chapter of my life about to be opened.
What was to be the end of it? I had strength, I had gifts. What was I
going to do with them? All the world, the street, the cabs, the houses,
seemed to fall away, and the mite of a figure and the unspeakable
Guide of the Universe were for an instant face to face. I was on my
knees--hurled down all against my own will, as it were. And even then
I could find no words to say. Only vague yearnings and emotions and a
heartfelt wish to put my shoulder to the great wheel of good. What could
I say? Every prayer seemed ba