we have clear soup or ox-tail? Didn't I think that burgundy was
better than port and sherry? The day after was the celebration itself,
and he was in with a bulletin immediately after breakfast. The cooking
was to be done at a neighbouring confectioner's. The landlady's son
was coming in to wait. I was sorry to see that Whitehall was already
slurring his words together, and had evidently been priming himself
heavily. He looked in again in the afternoon to tell me what a good time
we should have. So-and-so could talk well, and the other man could sing
a song. He was so far gone by now, that I ventured (in the capacity of
medical adviser) to speak to him about it.

It's not the liquor, Dr. Munro, sir," said he earnestly. It's the ----
relaxing air of this town. But I'll go home and lie I'll down, and be as
fresh as paint to welcome my guests."

But the excitement of the impending event must have been too much
for him. When I arrived at five minutes to seven, Turpey, the wounded
lieutenant, met me in the hall with a face of ill omen.

"It's all up with Whitehall," said he.

"What's the matter?"

"Blind, speechless and paralytic. Come and look."

The table in his room was nicely laid for dinner, and several decanters
with a large cold tart lay upon the sideboard. On the sofa was stretched
our unfortunate host, his head back, his forked beard pointing to the
cornice, and a half finished tumbler of whisky upon the chair beside
him. All our shakes and shouts could not break in upon that serene
drunkenness.

"What are we to do?" gasped Turpey.

"We must not let him make an exhibition of himself. We had better get
him away before any one else arrives."

So we bore him off, all in coils and curves like a dead python, and
deposited him upon his bed. When we returned three other guests had
arrived.

"You'll be sorry to hear that Whitehall is not very well," said Turpey.
"Dr. Munro thought it would be better that he should not come down."

"In fact, I have ordered him to bed," said I.

"Then I move that Mr. Turpey be called upon to act as host," said one of
the new comers; and so it was at once agreed.

Presently the other men arrived; but there was no sign of the dinner. We
waited for a quarter of an hour, but nothing appeared. The landlady was
summoned, but could give no information.

"Captain Whitehall ordered it from a confectioner's, sir," said she, in
reply to the lieutenant's cross-examination. "He did not