hand, and earn my
livelihood! But I was determined to go on, and I did so. The first week
or so was absolute misery; I scarcely dared to look any one in the face.
If perchance I caught an eye fixed upon me, I imagined I was recognized.
I dreaded to utter a word, lest my voice might betray me. I was
repeatedly questioned about old Harry, and what had become of him; and
I could see, that with all my attempts at disguise, my accent attracted
attention, and men looked at me with curiosity, and even suspicion. Is
it not strange that there should be more real awkwardness in maintaining
a station that one deems below him than in the assumption of a rank as
unquestionably above his own? Perhaps our self-love is the cause of it,
and that, in our estimate of our own natures, we think nothing too great
or too exalted for us.

Be this as it may, my struggles were very painful; and, far from
conforming easily to the exigencies of my lot, each day's experience
rendered them still harder to me. Two entire days passed over without my
having received a farthing. I could not bring myself to ask for payment,
and the crowd passed on, unheeding me. Some who seemed prepared with the
accustomed mite replaced it in their pockets when they saw what seemed
my indifference. One young fellow threw me a penny as he went, but I
could not have stooped for it had my life been on the issue. What a
wonderful thing is fortune!--or rather, how rarely can we plot for
ourselves any combination of circumstances so successful as those that
arise from what we deem accident! These that seemed evidences of failure
were the first promises of prosperity. My comrades had given me the
nickname of "Gentleman Jack." The sobriquet attracted notice to me and
to my habit of never making a demand; and long ere I came to learn the
cause, I found myself deriving all the advantage of it. Few now went
by without paying; many gave me silver, some even accompanying the gift
with a passing salutation, or a word of recognition. Slight as these
were, and insignificant, they were far more precious to me than any
praises I have ever listened to in my days of prosperity!

I gradually came to know all the celebrities of the town, and be myself
known by them. How like a dream does it seem to me, as I think over
those days! When Alderman Whitbread would give me a shilling, and Wilkes
borrow a crown of me; when Colonel O'Kelly would pay me with a wink,
and Sir Philip Francis with a cur