It swept,
torrent-like, through all my reasoning, and the surging water seemed to
rise and swell around me. At that moment short, fitful thoughts of the
long past shot through my mind; and my mother, and Raper, and Margot
too, came and went before me. Where were all the teachings of my infancy
now; where the holy aspirations of my early boyhood; where the simple
tastes and lowly desires, the home affections and blest humility I
once loved to dream over; where that calm existence, so bounded by easy
ambitions; and where, above all, that honesty of life that spurned
every thought of deception? "A meet ending for such a career," said I,
bitterly, as I gazed down on the river along whose bank we were driving.
"Ay," thought I, as we passed along, "there is not one so miserable
nor so poor with whom I would not change places, only that this mockery
should cease, and that I should be something to my own heart besides a
cheat."

The day suddenly grew overcast, the clouds massed themselves heavily
together, and the rain began to descend in torrents. When we reached
the restaurant the storm had become a hurricane, and all who had been
preparing to dine through the arbors of the garden were quickly driven
to seek shelter within doors. As I descended from the carriage, all was
tumult and confusion; for although every available spot had been given
up to the guests, yet from their numbers they were crowded together
most uncomfortably, and loud and angry complaints and remonstrances
were heard on all sides. In vain the waiters heard patiently or answered
courteously the various discontents of those who appealed to their rank
and station as claims for special consideration. Distinguished generals,
ministers, great leaders of fashion, were all condemned to the same
indiscriminate fortune of humbler natures.

From where I sat in the little _salon_ reserved for myself, I could
overhear these complaints and remonstrances, and it was in a kind of
savage irony with Fortune that I bethought me of my sumptuous lot in
comparison with the discomforts of those around me. Twice or thrice was
my door flung open by persons in search of an apartment, and in this
confusion and shame I revelled as in a momentary triumph. At length, in
an interval of comparative quiet, I thought I heard voices whispering
outside my door. I listened, and could distinguish that they were female
accents, and discussing, as it seemed, some project on which they were
not