h play and make-believe, and have a growing need to be
useful, to make things well, and, therefore, to acquire a sense of
industry. They also learn to win recognition by producing things.
Through play they advance to new stages of real mastery in the use of
toys and things, and learn to master experience by meditation,
experimenting, and planning. The home, the school, and the church should
try to help them to make this transition easily in order that they may
develop this sense of industry without a sense of inadequacy. If they
are pushed too strenuously to produce, a sense of inadequacy may result,
especially when they still want to be cuddled and cared for. Family life
has the responsibility of preparing the youngsters for school, where, in
the context of their play experiences, they accept the disciplines of
work. Relaxed teachers are needed who understand the process by which
children learn to move from play to work, and who can encourage them to
make this transition without either sparing them the needed disciplines
or imposing them too strenuously. Here we see an area in which the role
of the family and the role of the school are complementary.

The acquisition of a sense of industry is a decisive step in learning to
do things with others and alongside others. This will become a major
source of satisfaction and the area of his greatest service.

_Sense of Identity_

A fifth objective of love is to nurture in the human being a sense of
identity which is acquired and consolidated in a new way during
adolescence. Dr. Erikson describes identity as the "accrued confidence
that one's ability to maintain inner sameness and continuity is matched
by the sameness and continuity of one's meaning for others."[20]

As an individual develops and acquires skills, he thinks of himself as
one who can do things, and his important people may hold a variety of
expectations of him: "He's clumsy," "He never can do anything right";
or, "I can always count on him," "He's got the right stuff in him." Out
of his achievements and the attitudes of others toward him, his sense of
self-esteem and prestige is built, little by little. As crisis after
crisis is passed and the individual meets each of them with reasonable
resourcefulness and receives the encouragement and recognition of
others, he begins to believe in himself, to have a consistent
expectation of what he will do in the face of various circumstances and
relationships. In this