hinking of prayer. When we
practice expectancy in our relationships, we are preparing ourselves for
possible depth meetings that may take place between others and
ourselves. Preparation means ridding ourselves of prejudices and
preconceptions, fears and anxieties, ulterior motives and purposes, in
order that we may speak the word of love and truth to others, and really
hear the word of love and truth that they speak to us. In similar
fashion, we may prepare ourselves to be open to whatever God may speak
to us through persons or situations during that day. Finally, because we
have thus prepared ourselves for a real meeting between people, we will
not so easily seek to manipulate and exploit them.

_Mutual Attention_

The quality of mutuality calls for mutual attention. Those who would
call each other into being and be the instrument of God's love in human
relations must pay attention to each other. It is difficult to speak if
we do not have the listener's attention; it is difficult to listen if we
do not have the speaker's attention. Absence of mutual attention breaks
down communication. Sermons may not have the attention of the
congregation because the preacher's attention is fixed only on the
sermon as a production, or on himself as a performer, and not on the
congregation that he is now addressing, and whose response is necessary
if his sermon, as communication, is to be completed. Likewise, a child
may not hear the parent because the parent is not really paying
attention to the child. We hear ourselves saying, "Look here, you pay
attention to me." We say it in desperation because we know that our
angry command will not accomplish the desired result. The inattention
that we receive from one another discourages us personally and blocks
the possibility of the dialogue that might reunite us.

How can we secure the attention of others? The answer is simple: by
being attentive. As a teacher I have found that if I am really attentive
to my pupils, they pay attention to me. But if I am just doing a job and
not really concerned about them, they do not hear me because I am not
hearing them. If we want attention we must be attentive. If we want love
we must love. If we want anything we must give it. This is a Christian
principle. We cannot demand something and get it. Attention, then, is a
gift that we give one another. We give the gift of attention and receive
it in return. We have no automatic right to it, nor does anyone