time. And why does it always take
half-a-dozen people to serve you with a pair of gloves, I'd like to
know? Only last week Jane asked me to get her some gloves for that last
Mansion House affair. I was feeling amiable, and I thought I would
do the thing handsomely. I hate going into a draper's shop; everybody
stares at a man as if he were forcing his way into the ladies'
department of a Turkish bath. One of those marionette sort of men came
up to me and said it was a fine morning. What the devil did I want
to talk about the morning to him for? I said I wanted some gloves. I
described them to the best of my recollection. I said, 'I want them four
buttons, but they are not to be button-gloves; the buttons are in the
middle and they reach up to the elbow, if you know what I mean.' He
bowed, and said he understood exactly what I meant, which was a damned
sight more than I did. I told him I wanted three pair cream and
three pair fawn-coloured, and the fawn-coloured were to be swedes. He
corrected me. He said I meant 'Suede.' I dare say he was right, but
the interruption put me off, and I had to begin over again. He listened
attentively until I had finished. I guess I was about five minutes
standing with him there close to the door. He said, 'Is that all you
require, sir, this morning?' I said it was.

"' Thank you, sir,' he replied. 'This way, please, sir.'

"He took me into another room, and there we met a man named Jansen, to
whom he briefly introduced me as a gentleman who 'desired gloves.' 'Yes,
sir,' said Mr. Jansen; and what sort of gloves do you desire?'

"I told him I wanted six pairs altogether--three suede, fawn-coloured,
and three cream-coloured--kids.

"He said, 'Do you mean kid gloves, sir, or gloves for children?'

"He made me angry by that. I told him I was not in the habit of using
slang. Nor am I when buying gloves. He said he was sorry. I explained to
him about the buttons, so far as I could understand it myself, and
about the length. I asked him to see to it that the buttons were sewn on
firmly, and that the stitching everywhere was perfect, adding that the
last gloves my wife had had of his firm had been most unsatisfactory.
Jane had impressed upon me to add that. She said it would make them more
careful.

"He listened to me in rapt ecstacy. I might have been music.

"'And what size, sir?' he asked.

"I had forgotten that. 'Oh, sixes,' I answered, 'unless they are
very stretchy indeed, in which c