d on it for him.'

"'Ain't you got a cigar for him?' says a third.

"'A cup of coffee and a round of buttered toast would do him a sight
more good, a cold day like this,' says a fourth.

"I'd half a mind then to throw the stuff away, or drink it myself; it
seemed a piece of bally nonsense, giving good ale to a four-year-old
pony; but the moment the beggar smelt the bowl he reached out his head,
and lapped it up as though he'd been a Christian; and I jumped into the
cart and started off, amid cheers. We got up the hill pretty steady.
Then the liquor began to work into his head. I've taken home a drunken
man more than once and there's pleasanter jobs than that. I've seen a
drunken woman, and they're worse. But a drunken Welsh pony I never want
to have anything more to do with so long as I live. Having four legs he
managed to hold himself up; but as to guiding himself, he couldn't;
and as for letting me do it, he wouldn't. First we were one side of the
road, and then we were the other. When we were not either side, we were
crossways in the middle. I heard a bicycle bell behind me, but I dared
not turn my head. All I could do was to shout to the fellow to keep
where he was.

"'I want to pass you,' he sang out, so soon as he was near enough.

"'Well, you can't do it,' I called back.

"'Why can't I?' he answered. 'How much of the road do YOU want?'

"'All of it and a bit over,' I answered him, 'for this job, and nothing
in the way.'

"He followed me for half-a-mile, abusing me; and every time he thought
he saw a chance he tried to pass me. But the pony was always a bit too
smart for him. You might have thought the brute was doing it on purpose.

"'You're not fit to be driving,' he shouted. He was quite right; I
wasn't. I was feeling just about dead beat.

"'What do you think you are?' he continued, 'the charge of the Light
Brigade?' (He was a common sort of fellow.) 'Who sent YOU home with the
washing?'

"Well, he was making me wild by this time. 'What's the good of talking
to me?' I shouted back. 'Come and blackguard the pony if you want to
blackguard anybody. I've got all I can do without the help of that alarm
clock of yours. Go away, you're only making him worse.'

"'What's the matter with the pony?' he called out.

"'Can't you see?' I answered. 'He's drunk.'

"Well, of course it sounded foolish; the truth often does.

"'One of you's drunk,' he retorted; 'for two pins I'd come and haul you
out of the car