eight of fashion_, _is lounging in an
armchair_. SIR ROBERT CHILTERN _is standing in front of the fireplace_.
_He is evidently in a state of great mental excitement and distress_.
_As the scene progresses he paces nervously up and down the room_.]

LORD GORING. My dear Robert, it's a very awkward business, very awkward
indeed. You should have told your wife the whole thing. Secrets from
other people's wives are a necessary luxury in modern life. So, at
least, I am always told at the club by people who are bald enough to know
better. But no man should have a secret from his own wife. She
invariably finds it out. Women have a wonderful instinct about things.
They can discover everything except the obvious.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Arthur, I couldn't tell my wife. When could I have
told her? Not last night. It would have made a life-long separation
between us, and I would have lost the love of the one woman in the world
I worship, of the only woman who has ever stirred love within me. Last
night it would have been quite impossible. She would have turned from me
in horror . . . in horror and in contempt.

LORD GORING. Is Lady Chiltern as perfect as all that?

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Yes; my wife is as perfect as all that.

LORD GORING. [_Taking off his left-hand glove_.] What a pity! I beg
your pardon, my dear fellow, I didn't quite mean that. But if what you
tell me is true, I should like to have a serious talk about life with
Lady Chiltern.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. It would be quite useless.

LORD GORING. May I try?

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Yes; but nothing could make her alter her views.

LORD GORING. Well, at the worst it would simply be a psychological
experiment.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. All such experiments are terribly dangerous.

LORD GORING. Everything is dangerous, my dear fellow. If it wasn't so,
life wouldn't be worth living. . . . Well, I am bound to say that I think
you should have told her years ago.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. When? When we were engaged? Do you think she
would have married me if she had known that the origin of my fortune is
such as it is, the basis of my career such as it is, and that I had done
a thing that I suppose most men would call shameful and dishonourable?

LORD GORING. [_Slowly_.] Yes; most men would call it ugly names. There
is no doubt of that.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. [_Bitterly_.] Men who every day do something of
the same kind themselves. Men who,