ok his coat, that he had been using for a
pillow, and whipped around, and he slapped hisself on the shoulders,
and then took the lunch basket and pounded around like he was crazy, and
bime-by he started on a run towards town, holding his pants up, cause
his suspenders was hanging down on his hips, and I never see a fat man
run so, and fan himself with a basket. We could hear him yell, 'come on,
boys. Hell is out for noon,' and he went over a hill, and we didn't see
him any more. We waited till near dark because we was afraid to go after
the bags of nuts till the hornets had gone to bed, and then we came
home. The bags were awful heavy, and I think it was real mean in Pa to
go off and leave us, and not help carry the bags."

"I swan," says the grocery man, "You are too mean to live. But what
about your getting drunk?"

"O, I was going to tell you. Pa had a bottle of liver medicine in his
coat pocket, and when he was whipping his hornets the bottle dropped
out, and I picked it up to carry it home to him. My chum wanted to smell
of the liver medicine, so he took out the cork and it smelled just like
in front of a liquor store on East Water street, and my chum said his
liver was bad, too, and he took a swaller, and he said he should think
it was enough to cut a feller's liver up in slices, but it was good, and
then I had a peculiar feeling in my liver, and my chum said his liver
felt better after he took a swaller, and and so I took a swaller, and it
was the offulest liver remedy I ever tasted. It scorched my throat
just like the diptheria, but it beats diptheria, or sore throat, all to
pieces, and my chum and me laffed, we was so tickled. Did you ever take
liver medicine? You know how it makes you feel as if your liver had got
on top of your lights, and like you wanted to jump and holler. Well,
sir, honest that liver medicine made me dance a jig on the viaduct
bridge, and an old soldier from the soldiers' home came along and asked
us what was the matter, and we told him about our livers, and the liver
medicine, and showed him the bottle, and he said he sposed he had the
worst liver in the world, and said the doctors at the home, couldn't
cure him. It's a mean boy that won't help a nold vetran cure his liver,
so I told him to try Pa's liver remedy, and he took a regular cow
swaller, and said, 'here's to your livers, boys.' He must have a liver
bigger nor a cow's, and I guess it is better now.

"Then my liver begun to feel