* * * *

COMMERCIAL MODESTY.

"M. JACOB & CO.,
CONFECTIONER AND GLACIER.
Pastry of sorts."

_Madras Mail._

* * * * *

THE ZEAL OF THE CONVERT.

Sir THOMAS WHITTAKER, M.P., as reported by _The Yorkshire Evening Post_:

"Objection to compulsion on principle was all nonsense.
Compulsion was the only safe-guard we had against anarchy,
barbarism, law, order, justice, and freedom."

* * * * *

CROMWELLIANA.

"On Friday last a centenarian passed away at Whithall, Galway,
in the person of Mrs. Catherine Hynes, who had attained the
remarkable age of 102. The old lady had a remarkably retentive
memory, recalling with ease incidents which occurred three
generations ago. Her recollection of Cromwell's campaign was
particularly clear."--_Connacht Tribune._

"The other alien peer is the twelfth Viscount Taaffe, of the
Irish peerage, an Austrian subject, as his predecessors have
been since their estates were confiscated by Cromwell after the
Battle of the Boyne."--_Sunday Times._

The late Mrs. HYNES was perhaps the authority for this statement.

* * * * *

"ALLIES' WARSHIPS KEEP TURKS ON TENDER HOOKS AT
GALLIPOLI."--_Express and Echo (Exeter)._

This is rather hard on the enemy, who thought the Allies had taken their
hook long ago.

* * * * *

AT THE FRONT.

Home again! The base softened its heart on the very morning on which I
had practically decided to attend a parade next day if I were called in
time, and released me with an enormous command to conduct to the War. I
told the senior N.C.O. at the station of entrainment that I would regard
him as personally responsible if he dropped any of the men on the line
or under the engine on the way up, and was just off to look for food
when the R.T.O. told me the train was due out in two minutes. After
making quite sure that he wasn't a Major I reminded him that for that
matter the War had been due to be over last September; also that I had
used some of his trains before and that he couldn't teach me
two-pennyworth about them I hadn't known from childhood. This I said
courteously but firmly, and thereafter felt better and bought eight
boiled eggs, a ham sandwich made so hastily that the ham came to be
altogether omitted, three oranges, a