have I
come and come back to this battalion, and every blessed time they've
been either in trenches when I arrived, or situated directly behind the
trenches and going up, it might be, to make some more.

Sometimes we go up to dig, sometimes to carry, sometimes both. On the
night of my re-arrival I went up with the digging party, and have the
honour to report the following conversation between a certain one of our
diggers and a friend who loomed up carrying about four engineer
dug-outs, two coils of barbed wire, and a maul. You could just make out
the man under it all as he stumbled erratically along a mud-ridden
track.

"'Ello, Steve," says the digger, "wot's yer game to-night?"

Steve stopped for a second to look at his interrogator and then observed
genially as he moved on,

"Oh, just killin' time, you know."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Officer._ "WHY DO YOU THINK HE WOULDN'T MAKE A GOOD
CORPORAL?"

_Sergeant (indicating sentry)._ "_'IM_ A CORPORAL! LOR LUMME! WHY, 'IS
NAME'S CLARENCE!"]

* * * * *

TERCENTENARY TWITTERINGS.

The letters that follow are only a small selection from those that have
been inadvertently forwarded to us in response to the appeal of _The
Westminster Gazette_ for suggestions as to the most appropriate method
of celebrating SHAKSPEARE'S tercentenary:--

A HINT TO GREATER BRITAIN.

The name of the new capital of the Australian Commonwealth is not
irrevocably fixed, and it seems to me that a splendid opportunity is now
offered our brethren overseas to commemorate the genius of the foremost
British man of letters by linking his name with the new Antipodean
metropolis. I should not venture to dictate the exact form which it
should take, but "Willshake" seems to me to meet the requirements of the
case very happily, though the claims of "Avonbard" also deserve
consideration.

PHILLIBERT HARKER.

BIRD AND BARD.

As SHAKSPEARE overtopped all other men, so should his memorial tower
over all other monuments. I cannot help thinking that the re-erection of
the Wembley Tower in the form of a gigantic swan soaring into the
empyrean to the height of say two or three thousand feet would prove a
satisfactory solution of the problem. Whether it should be black or
white is a question which might be referred to a small committee of
experts, such as Sir SIDNEY LEE, Sir HERBERT TREE and