im word, I
would not try it again, for it would be discovered. This they bring
against me. But is it not, reasonable to imagine, that if any person
was to discover that a powder had been given them, to force them to
love anyone, would not a discovery of this nature produce a very
different effect? Would it not fix resentment? This would have been,
at that time death to me; such was my opinion of Cranstoun, and for
this reason I used the aforesaid words.

But to proceed. On my writing to Mr. Cranstoun, that it would not mix
in tea, he told me to mix it in gruel. I received the powders in June;
but did not put any into his gruel till the 5th of August; when I
fatally obeyed Mr. Cranstoun's orders, and was innocently the
instrument of death, as they say, to the best of fathers; brought
disgrace to my family, and shameful death to myself, unless my hard
case, here truly repented, recommends me to Royal pity, clemency and
compassion. And as I here declare, and as I look upon myself as a
dying woman, I never did design to hurt my father, but thought the
powder innocent, as Cranstoun told me it was. Let me be punished for
my follies, but not lose my life. Sure, it is hard to die for
ignorance, and too good an opinion of a villain! Must the falsities
and malice which I have been pursued with, prevail so far as to take
away my life? O consider my misfortunes, and indeed it will fill your
eyes with tears; you must pity me, and say, never was poor soul so
hardly used. But peace, my heart. I gave my father the powder on
Monday night; on Tuesday he complained. I sent for the apothecary; who
came, and said he would send him some physic. In the evening my father
said he would have some water gruel. I never went out to order this,
and knew not whether it was the same or no as he had on Monday, as
that he drank on Monday was made either on Saturday or Sunday.
However, on the Wednesday my father took physic, and was better; came
all Thursday down into the parlour, as also on Friday; Mr. Norton, by
my desire, all this time attending him very often. And Mr. Norton did
in the Court declare, that I was the person that did send for a
physician, and would have sent before, if thought necessary. When I
found my father so ill, I sent, unknown to him, for Dr. Addington. The
doctor said, he believed he was in great danger. I desired Dr.
Addington to attend him, and come the next day; which he did. On
Monday morning going into my father's room ear