fter all, why should the Germans invade us?

MITCHENER. Why shouldnt they? What else has their army to do? What else
are they building a navy for?

BALSQUITH. Well, we never think of invading Germany.

MITCHENER. Yes we do. I have thought of nothing else for the last ten
years. Say what you will, Balsquith, the Germans have never recognized,
and until they get a stern lesson, they never WILL recognize, the plain
fact that the interests of the British Empire are paramount, and that
the command of the sea belongs by nature to England.

BALSQUITH. But if they wont recognize it, what can I do?

MITCHENER. Shoot them down.

BALSQUITH. I cant shoot them down.

MITCHENER. Yes you can. You dont realize it; but if you fire a rifle
into a German he drops just as surely as a rabbit does.

BALSQUITH But dash it all, man, a rabbit hasnt got a rifle and a German
has. Suppose he shoots you down.

MITCHENER. Excuse me, Balsquith; but that consideration is what we call
cowardice in the army. A soldier always assumes that he is going to
shoot, not to be shot.

BALSQUITH (jumping up and walking about sulkily). Oh come! I like to
hear you military people talking of cowardice. Why, you spend your lives
in an ecstasy of terror of imaginary invasions. I dont believe you ever
go to bed without looking under it for a burglar.

MITCHENER (calmly). A very sensible precaution, Balsquith. I always take
it. And in consequence Ive never been burgled.

BALSQUITH. Neither have I. Anyhow dont you taunt me with cowardice. (He
posts himself on the hearthrug beside Mitchener on his left.) I never
look under my bed for a burglar. Im not always looking under the
nation's bed for an invader. And if it comes to fighting Im quite
willing to fight without being three to one.

MITCHENER. These are the romantic ravings of a Jingo civilian,
Balsquith. At least youll not deny that the absolute command of the sea
is essential to our security.

BALSQUITH. The absolute command of the sea is essential to the security
of the principality of Monaco. But Monaco isnt going to get it.

MITCHENER. And consequently Monaco enjoys no security. What a frightful
thing! How do the inhabitants sleep with the possibility of invasion,
of bombardment, continually present to their minds? Would you have our
English slumbers broken in the same way? Are we also to live without
security?

BALSQUITH (dogmatically). Yes. Theres no such thing as security in the
world: and t