your aide-de-camp or whatever is the proper thing. By the way, what can
you make him?

MITCHENER. I might make him my chaplain. I dont see why I shouldnt have
a chaplain on my staff. He showed a very proper spirit in punching that
young cub's head. I should have done the same myself.

BALSQUITH. Then Ive your promise to take command if Lady Richmond
consents?

MITCHENER. On condition that I have a free hand. No nonsense about
public opinion or democracy.

BALSQUITH. As far as possible, I think I may say yes.

MITCHENER (rising intolerantly and going to the hearthrug). That wont do
for me. Dont be weak-kneed, Balsquith. You know perfectly well that the
real government of this country is and always must be the government of
the masses by the classes. You know that democracy is damned nonsense,
and that no class stands less of it than the working class. You know
that we are already discussing the steps that will have to be taken if
the country should ever be face to face with the possibility of a
Labor majority in parliament. You know that in that case we should
disfranchise the mob, and, if they made a fuss, shoot them down. You
know that if we need public opinion to support us, we can get any
quantity of it manufactured in our papers by poor devils of journalists
who will sell their souls for five shillings. You know--

BALSQUITH. Stop. Stop, I say. I dont know. That is the difference
between your job and mine, Mitchener. After twenty years in the army a
man thinks he knows everything. After twenty months in the Cabinet he
knows that he knows nothing.

MITCHENER. We learn from history--

BALSQUITH. We learn from history that men never learn anything from
history. Thats not my own: its Hegel.

MITCHENER. Whos Hegel?

BALSQUITH. Dead. A German philosopher. (He half rises, but recollects
something and sits down again.) Oh confound it: that reminds me. The
Germans have laid down four more Dreadnoughts.

MITCHENER. Then you must lay down twelve.

BALSQUITH. Oh yes: its easy to say that: but think of what theyll cost.

MITCHENER. Think of what it would cost to be invaded by Germany and
forced to pay an indemnity of five hundred millions.

BALSQUITH. But you said that if you got compulsory military service
there would be an end of the danger of invasion.

MITCHENER. On the contrary, my dear fellow, it increases the danger
tenfold, because it increases German jealousy of our military supremacy.

BALSQUITH. A