lty to
dumb beasts."
"But what'll they say about us in camp?" groaned Si. "They'll have the
grand laugh on me and you, and every one o' the boys. I'd ruther go on
quarter rations for a month than stand the riggin' they'll give us, and
have Capt. McGillicuddy give me one look when he asks the question about
how we come to lose all our rations so soon? He'll think me a purty
Sarjint to send out into the country in charge o' men, and you a fine
Corpril."
"Say," said Shorty, his face illuminated with a bright idea. "We might
report the rations 'lost in action.' That'd fix it fine. We had two good
fights, and come out ahead. That'll tickle the Captain so that he won't
be partickler what we report."
"Hurroo!" echoed Hennessey; "that's the ticket."
"But we didn't lose 'em in action, and to say so'd be a lie," answered
Si, whose conscience had none of the easy elasticity of his partner's.
"We could report 'em burnt up by lightnin','but we won't. They was
lost by sheer, dumbed carelessness, that me and you and the boys should
knowed better than to've allowed. That's all there is of it, and that's
what I'm goin' to report, if I have to."
"Great Jehosephat," exploded Shorty; "you kin certainly be the
stubbornest mule over nothin', Si Klegg, that I ever seen. We've done
fightin' enough to excuse sich a report, or any that we've a mind to
make."
"Nothin' kin justify a lie," persisted the obdurate Si.
"Holy smoke! bigger men than you--lots bigger--have squared up their
accounts that way. Didn't all the Captains in the rijiment, and the
Quartermaster and Commissary, and, for what I know, the Chaplain and the
Colonel, git clean bills o' health after the battle o' Stone River, by
reportin' everything that they couldn't find 'lost in action?'"
"Yis," added Hennessey, "and didn't my Captain, after Chickamaugy, git
us all new uniforms and complete kits, by reportin' iverything 'lost in
action?' Smart man, my Captain, Oi tell yez."
"Well, I don't think any the more o' them for it. We spiled our rations
before the fightin' begun, they'd bin spiled if there'd bin no fightin',
and I haint going to send no other words, if I've got to send any word."
"Who the divil's goin' to carry this word, Oi'd like to know, Misther
Klegg?" broke in Hennessey. "Are you goin' to put words into my mouth,
Misther Klegg? Oi'll tell your Captain just fwhat Oi plaze, about
you and your foight and your rations. Oi want no more worrids wid
ye.
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