tion to the system of transfers,
the distance a passenger might be conveyed, and conveyed quickly, for
the sum of five cents. I spoke of our capitalists as men more sinned
against than sinning. Their money was always at the service of
enterprises tending to the development of our metropolis.

When I was not in the meetings, however, and especially when in my room
at night, I was continually trying to fight off a sense of loneliness
that seemed to threaten to overwhelm me. I wanted to be alone, and yet
I feared to be. I was aware, in spite of their congratulations on my
efforts, of a growing dislike for my associates; and in the appalling
emptiness of the moments when my depression was greatest I was forced to
the realization that I had no disinterested friend--not one--in whom I
could confide. Nancy had failed me; I had scarcely seen Tom Peters that
winter, and it was out of the question to go to him. For the third time
in my life, and in the greatest crisis of all, I was feeling the need of
Something, of some sustaining and impelling Power that must be presented
humanly, possessing sympathy and understanding and love.... I think I
had a glimpse just a pathetic glimpse--of what the Church might be of
human solidarity, comfort and support, of human tolerance, if stripped
of the superstition of an ancient science. My tortures weren't of the
flesh, but of the mind. My mind was the sheep which had gone astray. Was
there no such thing, could there be no such thing as a human association
that might at the same time be a divine organism, a fold and a refuge
for the lost and divided minds? The source of all this trouble was
social....

Then toward the end of that last campaign week, madness suddenly came
upon me. I know now how near the breaking point I was, but the immediate
cause of my "flying to pieces"--to use a vivid expression--was a speech
made by Guptill, one of the Citizens Union candidates for alderman, a
young man of a radical type not uncommon in these days, though new to
my experience: an educated man in the ultra-radical sense, yet lacking
poise and perspective, with a certain brilliance and assurance. He was a
journalist, a correspondent of some Eastern newspapers and periodicals.
In this speech, which was reported to me--for it did not get into the
newspapers--I was the particular object of his attack. Men of my kind,
and not the Judd Jasons (for whom there was some excuse) were the
least dispensable tools of t