t
love widow Wadman, there was nothing for widow Wadman to do, but to go
on and love my uncle Toby--or let it alone.

Widow Wadman would do neither the one or the other.

--Gracious heaven!--but I forget I am a little of her temper myself; for
whenever it so falls out, which it sometimes does about the equinoxes,
that an earthly goddess is so much this, and that, and t'other, that I
cannot eat my breakfast for her--and that she careth not three halfpence
whether I eat my breakfast or no--

--Curse on her! and so I send her to Tartary, and from Tartary to Terra
del Fuogo, and so on to the devil: in short, there is not an infernal
nitch where I do not take her divinityship and stick it.

But as the heart is tender, and the passions in these tides ebb and flow
ten times in a minute, I instantly bring her back again; and as I do all
things in extremes, I place her in the very center of the milky-way--

Brightest of stars! thou wilt shed thy influence upon some one--

--The duce take her and her influence too--for at that word I lose all
patience--much good may it do him!--By all that is hirsute and gashly! I
cry, taking off my furr'd cap, and twisting it round my finger--I would
not give sixpence for a dozen such!

--But 'tis an excellent cap too (putting it upon my head, and pressing
it close to my ears)--and warm--and soft; especially if you stroke
it the right way--but alas! that will never be my luck--(so here my
philosophy is shipwreck'd again.)

--No; I shall never have a finger in the pye (so here I break my
metaphor)-- Crust and Crumb
Inside and out

Top and bottom--I detest it, I hate it, I repudiate it--I'm sick at the
sight of it--

'Tis all pepper,
garlick,
staragen,
salt, and

devil's dung--by the great arch-cooks of cooks, who does nothing, I
think, from morning to night, but sit down by the fire-side and invent
inflammatory dishes for us, I would not touch it for the world--

--O Tristram! Tristram! cried Jenny.

O Jenny! Jenny! replied I, and so went on with the thirty-sixth chapter.

Chapter 4.XXXVI.

--'Not touch it for the world,' did I say--

Lord, how I have heated my imagination with this metaphor!

Chapter 4.XXXVII.

Which shews, let your reverences and worships say what you will of it
(for as for thinking--all who do think--think pretty much alike both
upon it and other matters)--Love is certainly, at least alphabetically
speaking, one of the most